Confession

I'm terrible at keeping secrets, especially big ones, so I have to come clean about something:

Jason and I are married.

In fact, we've been married for over a year. Over the holidays, we decided to confess to our family and friends back home, who had no idea, and since I can't tell everyone in person, I guess this is the best I can do for now.

You're probably wondering how and why we would get married and not tell anyone, even our parents, for a whole year. That's fair. Here's the story. (This was originally much longer but if you want the director's cut, call me. I am happy to tell you all the gory details!)

After a couple months in France, it seemed like life really would be easier as a married couple so I pitched the idea to Jason in December 2012, right before I was was coming home for the break. He was more or less in agreement, and even though it was just the formality before our big wedding post-France, we wanted to invite our parents. There didn't seem to be a good day/location that was mutually convenient and both my mom and Jason's dad insisted that more people should be invited so it seemed that we weren't going to do it after all. DISAPPOINTED.

I was flying out of Baltimore on Saturday, January 5, and that Wednesday, Jason and I were heading back from the airport where I was trying to get my flight changed. We were chatting about the whole wedding thing again and I finally said, "I think we should just do it. No parents, no siblings, we don't tell anyone. We just go and do it. Just the two of us." So instead of going to the mall, we rushed to the courthouse in the 10 minutes before they were closing and applied for our marriage certificate. In Maryland, you have to wait 48 hours after you get your certificate to have the ceremony. Since the courthouse was only open on weekdays, it was literally now or never. We chose now.

On Friday, January 4, 2013 at 10am, I got out my little white dress (that my mother cajoled me into buying three months before we were even engaged), Jason put on a suit and we rolled over to the courthouse in the Green Lantern. We got Paul, Ama and Chuck, the people most responsible for our relationship (and most available to get off work in the morning), to be our witnesses. Ama even went so far as to put together some flowers so the guys could have boutonnieres and I could have a bouquet. It was all over in about 10 minutes (15 if you count posing for a few pictures, which are still on Ama's camera somewhere) and we went out for lunch at AleWife afterward. There was even champagne!

That night was officially billed as my goodbye party but it secretly doubled as our wedding reception with all of our closest Baltimore buddies, unknowingly celebrating our marriage. GOTCHA!

There were no limos, no matching dresses, no linens, no speeches, no favors, no cake and it was perfect. It was just us and our love and our commitment to each other. We didn't have to worry about accommodating anyone else. We did exactly what we wanted and what was best for us and I am so glad we decided to just go for it.

So now you know. I hope you're not mad. (Josh was a little mad.) Everyone else has been really cool about it and they are mostly just happy that we're happy, which is nice.

Why did we wait so long to confess? Many reasons, the main ones being 1) we weren't going to say anything until our big wedding but it was becoming harder to keep it a secret and I didn't want to have to lie to anyone, 2) we didn't know how people (our families, mostly) would react after not being there for it and 3) we really wanted to tell everyone in person. The first time we were both back in the US in the same place at the same time was this past holiday season.

How I am allowed to live in France without my own visa? Married couples get special privileges and I am basically Jason's +1 for the length of his contract. Our recent trip to Paris? It was to celebrate our first anniversary, which is probably why the guy at the hotel was so nice to us and we got free champagne at the restaurant. It all makes sense now!

Moral of the story: If you're moving to another country with your fiancé(e), just get secretly married before you go. Life is better together.

Finding Home Sweet Home

So you want to rent an apartment in France, do you? GIVE UP. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

Okay, that's not true, but it's certainly no easy feat and it seems that there isn't a lot of information out there on how the whole rental process works in France. What is out there is a lot of conflicting ideas and incomplete answers. I will attempt to shed some light on the situation and hopefully you'll have an easier time of it than I have had. You should keep in mind, however, that the property owners and rental agencies vary GREATLY and you may have a completely different experience. That has been a large part of my frustration but read on and all will be explained...

Pro Tip 1: Buy yourself some time to get to know your new city by having a temporary place to live lined up before you arrive. It could be with a friend, a French family (exchange student-style) in a student residence, or at an appart-hotel. All these places will afford you some basic comforts without the cost of a full blown hotel while you figure your life out. My "studio" is really just a dorm room in the suburbs but at least I had a place to sleep and put my stuff the day I got here.

Pro Tip 2: Even with temporary housing, you have to give between one and three months' notice before you can leave. If you hate your place, let your landlords know immediately so that you can move sooner rather than later. Early lease termination is sometimes possible but not always easy so just be aware.

Throughout January and February, long stretches of my days were dedicated to trolling the internet for available apartments. I started out by just Googling "location appartement bordeaux" and finally stumbled across some useful websites where I could enter my search criteria and they populated a list of places that matched. Try these:

• Se Loger: There's a French version (which may be more complete) and an English version (which is sometimes just in French...)
• Nexity
• Century21
• Foncia
• La Forêt

By early March, I found a pretty ideal place through Century 21. It was close to tram and bus lines, right up the street from Auchan, just a few minutes from Centre Ville and the quai. I was eager to get the paperwork signed because I was hoping to have the place set up by the time Jason arrived.

NOPE.

There's no credit check in France so you have to prove you have the money to pay your rent. Here is what a typical housing application file will include in France:

• Copies of your ID (passport)
• Bank account information (RIB)
• Work contract and/or bank statements proving that you can pay the rent
• It is the law in France that you cannot rent an apartment that is more than one-third your net monthly income.
• Last three pay stubs
• Last two income tax statements
• Proof of current address in France (gas/electric/water/landline phone bill)
• Your cell phone bill is not sufficient
• Copy of previous lease agreement

Once you have gathered a small forest's worth of papers, you may also be asked to find a garant (sometimes also called a caution). It's explained very well here (in French) but the long story short is that they are a co-signer so that in the event that you don't pay your rent, the agency will come after your garant for the money. This was completely insane to me, but apparently it is normal in France. The law here is very much in favor of the renter. Landlords cannot evict you in the winter and it can take up to two years to kick you out, regardless of the season, even if you don't pay your rent during that whole period. When I learned this, it made sense why some of these apartments were available for so long. Better to take a month to find the right person than to rent to the first bum off the street who might not pay anything at all after the deposit and first month.

Sometimes all a garant has to do is sign the lease along with you, as was the case with Ashley and Guillaume. His mom rolled up and with a flick of a pen, they had a new place to live. Not so in our case, even though we were also going through Century 21. (WTF??) The agent needed the garant to provide all of the documents that we had provided. I was floored. I have been here for four months and the only people I know are my Chinese classmates and my teachers. There's no way I could ask any of them for all that stuff. Jason arrived the day after I got this news and we asked around at his job to see if anyone was willing or able to do it. Some people said it was normal for agencies to require it and they had their parents do it for them, others said it was completely outrageous. Either way, no one was volunteering. Even though we had proved we had the money for it (and then some), we still needed someone to sign with us.

Back to the drawing board.

Pro Tip 3: When you find a place you like, ask up front if they will require a garant. You may need to explain your situation and provide some documents about it, but it's better than getting your hopes up, only to be told you will be systematically denied for lack of a garant. If you absolutely need one and don't know anyone in France, you may be able to get one through a company. Check out Loca-pass and this website, which is a registry of companies that may offer you garant services if you don't know any French people. Be aware, though: We didn't qualify for these because we're too old and because Jason has a real job. Oh well.

What ultimately led me to finding our new apartment was the French version of Craigslist: Le Bon Coin. You can search for pretty much anything on there, including apartments. Armed with the knowledge from my failed initial attempts and a bit of urgency since sharing a twin bed is the worst thing ever, I was on the hunt again. I now knew the right questions to ask (When is the apartment available? Do you require a garant? How much is due up front?) and didn't waste time going on visits to places that weren't going to work out anyway.

Pro Tip 4: If you're anything like me, you will be tempted by big-name agencies because you will think them to be more credible. This may not be the case. Some agencies are bums and will not take care of problems in your apartment if you have them. Your colleagues may offer a friend of a friend who knows a guy who has a place to rent. Against your American judgement, this might be your best bet. They probably won't charge you an agency fee and they might treat you better because you're a friend (of a friend of a friend). YOU JUST NEVER KNOW. Ask around as much as possible to get a feel for the rental climate in your area.

Once I figured it out, it really wasn't too difficult. I saw the ad two weeks ago on a Monday and replied to it, I set up a visit for later that week, I brought my application file with me and gave it to her that day. Two days later, she called me and told me our application had been accepted. I had to go by the agency and pay the deposit last week. Today, we had our état des lieux meeting, in which you go through everything in the house and write down it's condition, and then she handed us the keys. The furniture is being dropped off on Friday and we'll be sleeping in a real bed by this weekend! We thought of furnishing the place via Le Bon Coin as well but since we don't have a car and the new apartment is on the top floor of the building, we just decided to buy everything from Ikea and have it delivered. Problem solved.

Why someone couldn't have just told me all that when I got here, I don't know, but I figured it out and I am glad it's over. I hope that this post can help other poor souls looking for a place to live in France. This website is also incredibly useful. That link is the housing page but they have all kinds of other information for anglophones, too. It is a long and arduous process but it's a pretty good feeling to be living in a place that I actually enjoy coming home to. Worth it.

Can't wait to throw a housewarming party!!

Public Transit: Only Awesome When It Works

For those of you who know me, you know that I am always out and about on a Friday or Saturday night, so it was certainly an adjustment coming here and spending my weekends in the house. As enjoyable as it was at first, a girl can only paint her nails but so many Saturdays in a row before it starts getting a little depressing, so I was happy to have some adventures lined up this weekend.

Originally, Hunter and I had made plans to do lunch on Friday but we both had pretty late nights on Thursday so we pushed it to Saturday. Friday was a relaxing day or blogging, grocery shopping, and playing the new guitar Jason got me for Christmas/my birthday. Look at me go!

To make up for a relatively quiet Friday, I stuffed Saturday full of fun with friends: Lunch with Hunter at noon, watching rugby with Guillaume and Ashley at 2:30 followed by dinner at You's place around 5:00 and maybe going out afterward. This would entail a lot of traversing the city but with my TBC tram/bus pass, I can go anywhere! Transit here is really nice and will get you anywhere in the city/surrounding suburbs in a pretty reasonable amount of time. I planned out all my routes the night before and was really excited about a full day of getting out and around.

Hunter and I planned to meet at Auchan in the morning to get some food for our lunch. I had heard stories from all the other Chinese kids about Hunter's amazing cooking, so I was amped. At the last second, some obstacles came up and he decided to change it to dinner. I explained that I was going to You's for dinner and could only come for lunch. He was disappointed, (and so was I! I want some real Chinese food!!) but we still had some tasty sandwiches anyway. I told him I would try to make it over after dinner at You's place since we were supposed to be eating in the early evening.

Around 2:00, I had to head back over west to catch the rugby game. According to my calculations, this trip was supposed to take about 30 minutes. A couple stops on the tram and a short bus ride. NOPE. There was a manifestation downtown and all the trams and buses between Quinconces and Mériadeck were blocked. I love equal rights and whole-heartedly believe that gays should get married, too, but could you maybe just scoot your rally out of the street? Thanks. 25 minutes later, I was able to get on a tram toward Ashley's house. By the time I finally got over her way, though, I had missed the bus that would have saved me from walking the extra 15 minutes to her door. Unanticipated travel time: 40 minutes.

Watching rugby was great fun. Toulouse was playing a team called the Ospreys and I wore one of my Chesapeake T-shirts even though Guillaume was rooting for Toulouse, who later went on to win the match. After the game, Ashley and I were supposed to head over to You's house because her roommate (whose name I can neither spell nor pronounce and who was referred to by You simply as "The Boy") was making dinner for us. She had told him about my love of spicy food and he was very excited to cook for me, apparently. Awesome. We headed out around 5:00 and and Ashley needed to stop at the tabac on the way to the bus stop for cigarette supplies and Coca-Cola. Even though we had checked the sign and it wasn't supposed to be there for another 15 minutes, the 35 bus rolled right by us just as we left the tabac. This is Karma punishing you for smoking, Ashley.We ened up waiting for a solid 45 minutes for the next bus and didn't get to You's place until after 6:00. Unanticipated travel time: 1 hour.

Since we had taken so long, The Boy had already prepared all the food and it was waiting patiently for us on the table. I felt terrible that we didn't help at all in the preparation and the only thing we contributed was a couple liters of knock-off Coke. Ugh again. Both of our Chinese hosts were just glad for our company, though, and I had one of the best meals of my life. Garlic-rubbed baked chicken, some spicy gingery soup with bean sprouts and pork, a traditional egg and tomato dish, seaweed and egg soup... It was outrageous. When I asked The Boy how he learned to cook, his response was a modest, "Well, I was hungry." When I'm hungry, I eat Clif Bars and cry about not having any real food. This guy became a chef. Amazing.

We ended up staying until close to 10:00 (so much for meeting up with Hunter and his crew) and Guillaume was texting to see if we were interested in coming out for a drink with him and Pierre, his friend from Toulouse. I thought Ashley would have had enough of Bodegon after Thursday's adventures, but she was just happy Guillaume was out at a bar. Apparently, he doesn't go out much. The 3 bus was going to take us right downtown so we scurried off to the stop up the street, only to find that it was also running extremely slowly. Seriously? The one day that I need to be somewhere in kind of a hurry just happens to be the day when nothing is running on schedule. Half an hour later, we got on the bus and Made it to Victoire by 11. Unanticipated travel time: 35 minutes

We had a few beers at Bodegon, though Pierre and Guillaume were a few ahead of us, and then went in search of another bar when the very same creepy guys from Thursday came a-lurking. I thought I said no the first time? 

Me: "Again? No. Remember? I'm about to get married!" 

Creepy guy: "Yes, okay, but until then...?"

Me: "Ew."

We wanted to check out this Australian place that was supposed to be good but couldn't find it, despite extensive searching on Guillaume's smart phone and a ton of wandering around. We eventually landed in an Irish pub on the other side of Ste. Catherine. (Unanticipated travel time: 30 minutes) You had to go home almost immediately because she didn't want to miss her bus and the rest of us hung out for one more beer. Guillaume was fading fast and even though Ashley and I were enjoying our lesson in French curse words from Pierre, we figured it was time to go.

We walked all the way back up to Victoire only to discover that we had missed the last tram of the evening. How did it get to be 1:50 so quickly?? Pierre had his car, and while he wasn't drunk, he thought it best not to drive. We appreciate your interest in our safety, but the only other option is to walk all the way back to Mérignac, which is probably less safe, especially at 2am on a Saturday night. Even though I was stone cold sober, I can't drive stick so we were at an impasse. Ashley offered to drive but Guillaume was (smartly) having none of it. Even though she seemed pretty coherent, if she got pulled over, it's jail/deportation. Pierre conceded and we hopped in his "vintage" Renault.

Since Ashley and I don't drive, and Guillaume never goes downtown, none of us knew how to get home. And all that searching for the Australian bar had drained Guillaume's phone battery so none of us had access to some sort of mapping device. Ugh again again. We made it, though, thanks to my crafty navigating skills and being able to recognize a couple key landmarks in my neighborhood. By the time I got back in the house, it was approaching 3am. Unanticipated travel time: 35 minutes.

Total Unanticipated Travel Time: 3 hours and 20 minutes 

As I flopped into bed, utterly exhausted, I couldn't help but think had I not spent so much time trying to get somewhere else, I could have been asleep before midnight...

Sketchy Dudes Please Stay Home

Since none of us have classes on Friday, Thursday has become party night. It always starts with drinks and hanging out at Ashley's place after school. A beer at the bar will cost you at least 4€ so we stock up on cases of the cheap stuff from the grocery store. Ashley, You, (the tallest Chinese girl I have ever met) and I had a grand old time talking about stereotypes and cultural differences over a couple beers and when we started YouTube'ing different versions of the national anthem so we could sing along and get emotional about 'Merica, it was obvious that we were ready to head out.

First stop: The Cock and Bull. This place is your typical English pub, complete with an old British owner who seems so charming with that little accent but is actually just kind of creepy. Ashley won him over a while back and now he gives her doubles for the price of a regular drink. Maybe a double Long Island was a bit excessive but who am I to judge? Turns out Ashley's eyes were bigger than her liver and ended up giving most of it to me. I know there's some rhyme about liquor and beer that's supposed to help you not feel like death the next day but when you drink the cheapest beer you can find and Long Island Ice Teas, you're going to feel like death no matter what you do. Oh well.

In an effort to sober up a bit, it was off to Bodegon for dancing. I had been to this place before on my first night out with Ashley and it was a bit dicey, what with the random girls taking their shirts off and dancing on the bar while it was on fire, but I'll try anything twice. The music that night was really good (read: American) and the crowd was a bunch of friendly-looking students. Drunk Ashley is a friendly Ashley so we were very quickly integrating into other groups at the bar. Fun times had by all!

And then creepers came out and now, instead of having a nice time, I spent the rest of the evening trying to fight away the sleaziest characters in the place. I don't care if you have a nice place not far from here. I don't want to see it. I don't care that you make a lot of money. I don't need it. I don't care that you have a fancy leather jacket. It looks tacky. You smell like cigarettes and BO and I'm not interested. And P.S. I'm engaged so try your creepy tactics on some other poor girl. Gross.

After about half an hour, just as it was starting to become unbearable, I realized it was getting late anyway and we decided to leave. We went to gather our things but Ashley's phone and tram card were missing. Super not good. After 20 minutes of looking under tables and interrogating all the sketchy guys that had been lurking around us, we had to give up the search. You had already caught the last bus to her place and the trams back in our direction only run until 1:30. There's nothing like losing all your stuff to really ruin a mostly enjoyable evening and I felt bad about the whole situation. She later recovered her tram card from the Cock and Bull but the phone was still MIA after calling it all night and the next day.

I really want to believe that her phone just fell out somewhere, you know, because these things happen when you're drinking, but it is also entirely possible that one of those sketchy guys that was leaning all over her may have lifted it right out of her pocket. Everyone is quick to say, "Well, if you don't want your stuff stolen, don't go out drinking" but why aren't we saying "Don't steal people's stuff"? This victim-perpetrator-blame thing has been getting a lot of press lately and while I wouldn't consider myself a feminist, I really don't think it's too much to ask that if you're a guy and you see a girl in a bar who might be a bit intoxicated, maybe it shouldn't be a green light to go take advantage of her. No, I am not trying to let anyone off the hook here. If you're responsible enough to go out and have a couple of drinks, you should be responsible enough to keep track of your things. But I also don't think it's fair to blame the victim of a theft. They're not the ones breaking laws and violating people...

And even if these guys didn't take her phone, they were still hella sketchy and I just don't understand how they could possibly believe that they're smooth. If I told you I wasn't interested, walked away and told you to leave me alone, why are you still trying to talk to me? I know my French isn't perfect, but typically when someone pushes your face away from theirs, it's a sign that they don't want you to try to kiss them. Just saying! If you are a creeper, please stay home and leave me alone. Thanks!

On a lighter note but definitely in the same vein of this story, this video made me laugh pretty hard.

Watching Cat Videos on YouTube Doesn't Count as Research

Someone please tell me how it's already December. I don't understand how time can simultaneously crawl and fly but that's exactly what it feels like right now.  I have been here for a measly three weeks but November 8th feels like it was ages ago. Perhaps it's because each day here is chock-full of new excitement and adventure even when I do nothing but troll the internet. Yeah, I spent four hours looking at stuff online... FRENCH STUFF. You know, research.

The first major thing I need to find is an apartment that Jason and I can both live in. The Residence Hippocrate is fine for just me, but we tried to fit into one dorm room bed when I was at Temple for Institute and it just didn't work. I'm a grown ass woman! I should be sleeping in a grown as woman sized bed! The trouble with finding an apartment is tri-fold in our case:

1) We'd really prefer something furnished. Since we're only here for a year or two, it would be a lot of stuff to have to buy only to turn around and sell moments later. (There is an IKEA here but still. Furnishing a whole place all at once ain't cheap.)

2) We want to live somewhere near downtown but not spend a fortune on rent and also be close to work/school. This is physically impossible because his job and my school are both located in the west and downtown is all the way east. It takes at least 50 minutes to get from downtown to Pessac and that's if you're staying right on the tram line with no transfers. Holy commute, Batman.

3) We do not have a French guarantor to tell a future landlord that we're good for the rent every month. I think this is completely unnecessary if Jason can prove that he has a job and a contract for a given amount of time but this is not how it works in France. Ugh!

I have a few leads on some places, thanks to Jason's future colleague, Steve, so I guess I have some visits to make in January.

I have also spent a lot of time looking for ways to stay in the country once my classes are done. I like Esarc Evolution just fine but as Mylène said, it won't be enough for me if I am planning to stay here for a while. It's also way too expensive to try and take classes with them for two years. I have been investigating the University of Bordeaux 3, which holds the Department of French as a Foreign Language. Apparently, lots of people from Esarc transfer there once they get their language skills up and I am hoping to do the same. It's about 1/3 the cost of a private center like Esarc and they offer not just language courses, but literature and foreign language instruction pedagogy classes, too. That sounds right up my alley. Unfortunately the website is not exactly the easiest thing to understand and I think I need to just write an email to them and get some answers.

There is also this French teaching assistantship program offered by the French government that I think would be really cool. It's a paid position and is very much in the vein of my career aspirations, but I would have to spend half the summer back in the US getting a work visa. It's also not guaranteed that I would be placed in Bordeaux since it's a national program. Even if I did get placed in this area, I could be out somewhere in the sticks and without a car, that would be pretty tough to do.

Confession: I have been planning our wedding. But it's not pathetic anymore because I'm engaged for really real now! For the moment, it's all completely hypothetical since we have no idea where we'll be or what we'll be doing a year or two from now and it's really tough to try to plan an event in a place where neither of you will be living. Between theknot.com and Pinterest and weddingawker, I have a ton of ideas about things I think would  be really awesome and fun but I haven't really consulted my other half on any of it. When I did, he had no opinions, so I guess I'll keep living the fantasy for a while longer.

I suppose blogging takes up a bit of time, as does checking Facebook to see what's happening in the world back home. I found a site where I can stream movies with French dubbing for free and I watched Mulan the other night. Watching movies you've seen a million times is actually a really good way to learn new words. I have decided to better myself in other ways since I have the time now: I want to get more flexible so I am starting a stretching routine. Promises splits in 30 days! I don't know if that's possible but I'm going to try. I had a push-up routine I was doing a long time ago and I want to get back into because no matter how strong I look, I still can't do that many push-ups for some reason. And I am reading a lot. I wish a had a Kindle or a Nook so I could have endless books at my disposal without all the bulk and hassel of getting them here. You can't buy any new books overseas due to copyright laws but I could load up on 50 or so when I'm home and that would easily last until my next visit back to the States.

All this research might have to take a back seat, though, because I am starting work next week. I meet both of my families on Tuesday so hopefully that will go well and I'll be making some cash money. I am slightly concerned about my Wednesday commute since I am supposed to make a 45 minutes trip in half an hour but we'll see. Might need to wear some running shorts under my outfit...

What I need to be looking for is Christmas gifts. Why am I so terrible at gift giving??? Looks like I know what I'm doing tomorrow! There's certainly nothing else to do around here on a Sunday except play on the internet.

FAQs (About France, Not Me) Part 1

Whenever I talk to someone back home, they always have a million questions about what life in France is really like. This is my first attempt at answering those questions. I think it will be very interesting to see how my responses might change when I've been here a bit longer...

"How's the weather?"

Since Bordeaux is pretty close to the Atlantic coast, the weather is quite mild. In fact, it's not really that different from the weather in Baltimore right now: Cold and rainy. It seems to rain in short bursts here and then it will be sunny for a moment, tricking you into believing you can leave the umbrella at the house. Don't be fooled. It will rain some more later. I am told it doesn't usually get cold enough for snow, and if it does, the snow doesn't stick around for very long. This is a shame in my opinion, but I guess I can just hop over to the Pyrenees or the Alps if I need a fix.

"How's the food?"

I'll tell you when I actually eat some! It's hard being a single girl in France with broke friends because you never have the chance to go out and get real authentic French cuisine. Some people like going to restaurants alone but I'm not a fan of it myself. What I do know is that many restaurants here do prix fixe menus, both for lunch and dinner. I have peeked at a couple places and it seems pretty pricey to go out for a nice meal (15€ for lunch, 35€ for dinner) but from what I've heard, it's worth it. 

I am obviously not starving to death, though: I have become a regular at the local supermarket. Jason and I got in the habit or "shopping the perimeter" at the grocery store (all the perishable items are on the outside since there is such a high turnover of products) and I do the same here. The produce is very fresh and most of it is local, which keeps costs way down. 5kg bag of potatoes for 99¢? Yes I will! Four big tomatoes for 64¢? Of course! 43¢ for a loaf of French bread? Don't mind if I do! Pretty sure that potato leek soup I made cost like than 25¢ per serving. What?!?!??

And the dairy products... First of all, milk comes in opaque plastic bottles and you don't have to refrigerate it until after opening. They have all types of puddings and yogurts, including a whole section just for different varieties of plain yogurt. I have already described the endless amounts of cheese that you can purchase and there are more types of butter than I even knew existed: partial salt, full salt, sweet, semi-sweet, high fat, low fat, medium fat... The list goes on. I usually get overwhelmed and just pick the store brand, conveniently labeled "le moins chére" (the least expensive).

Pastries! There are so many pastries! All sorts of sweet, buttery breads, stuffed or sprinkled or glazed with the most delicious things you can imagine. I'm a sucker for the standard "pain au chocolat": Basically a rectangular chocolate filled croissant. If you get the fancy kind, they have a light glaze on top that makes me cry tears of joy.

As an aside, I have been really tearing it up in the kitchen lately. That's usually Jason's territory but I guess we have been making meals together long enough that I actually know some stuff about cooking now. Some recent culinary feats include: honey balsamic glazed salmon with broccoli and rice, steamed vegetables and chicken with homemade beurre blanc sauce, mushroom/spinach/goat's cheese omelette with home fries and, my favorite so far, accidental jambalaya. I made Mexican last night and had tons of leftover rice and beans. (Cooking for one is nearly impossible!) I don't have a microwave so I have to reheat everything on the stovetop, which is kind of annoying when you hate washing dishes. I had already planned on making something with this sausage I had purchased when I suddenly realized I was splash of chicken broth away from making a tasty bayou-inspired lunch. Epic.

"How are the French people?"

Maybe people were just trying to prepare me for the worst with horror stories about how rude the French are, but I have had extremely positive experiences with them so far. If I'm running to catch the tram, someone always holds the door for me. If I catch someone's eye while walking down the street, 8 times out of 10 the person will actually speak to me instead of being suddenly fascinated with the color of their own shoelaces. Dudes let Ashely bum (multiple!) cigarettes off them, even after she tells them about her boyfriend. I feel like everyone I have encountered has been genuinely interested in helping me or at least getting me to someone who could. When I tell people I'm from the United States, they don't automatically turn their noses up and walk away from me. In fact, most people think it's pretty neat that I chose to come to France and they think it's fun to try out the corny phrases they learned in high school English class. Is this true of everyone in the country? Certainly not. I'm sure there are some people that downright hate Americans. Luckily, I haven't met them yet. I think the French think about us about as much as we think about them, which isn't really that often, and we both have positive and negative things to say about each other. Thus is the way of the world.

"What's the biggest difference between the Baltimore and Bordeaux?"

Umm... that they speak French here and not English? I think a lot of the reason I am assimilating so quickly is because living here is not really that much different from living in Baltimore. It's definitely cleaner here. I remember that being hard to get used to when I lived in Baltimore, especially coming from the eco-friendly capital of the universe that is Ithaca, NY. And the public transportation is actually something that people choose to use, rather than are forced to use so it's less filled with people who hate their lives. Bordeaux is more diverse than I thought it would be. Certainly not to the degree of Baltimore, but there are lots of different shades of brown people here. I guess it's kinda weird that you can drink anywhere. When it's party time, people are drinking on the train, in the street, on the way to bar... The rest of time, you might see it, too, but people aren't getting shitfaced on the tram in the middle of the day JUST BECAUSE THEY CAN. You could, certainly, but why would you want to? And it's mostly young people, since this is pretty much a college town. You don't see old dudes knocking back 40s in the park at 2pm.

I know it was sometimes inconvenient to find a liquor store that was open on Sunday, but here, it's hard to find anything that's open on Sunday. As the rugby song says, Sunday is the Lord's day, so I suppose everyone is busy doing holy things, but it's weird that even the mall is closed on Sunday.

"What's the biggest difference between the US and France?"

People are less apologetic here. I feel like Americans are so quick to say "Sorry!!!" for everything: I'm sorry my coat brushed you knee. I'm sorry I dropped my bookmark in front of you. I'm sorry for making contact with you on the crowded bus. Unless you really slam into somebody, don't expect so much as a pardon. You live in a place where lots of other people live. It is expected that you will make physical contact with someone else. This is not worthy of regret. Save your sorries for when you're actually sorry. I think this corroborates the "French People are Rude" stereotype but I don't mind it. It makes me think of the opening monologue from the movie Crash...

I also find the French to be very straightforward. Again, this may come off as abrasive, pushy, or mean, but I find it rather refreshing. I appreciate that people aren't going to dance around, trying to be perfectly PC all the time, and instead say what they really think. Is it always going to be something I want to hear? Probably not, but I'd rather you say whatever you have to say so that we know where we both stand. And if I really don't like what you have to say, then I don't have to pretend to like you. We're not going to agree and that's okay!

French bureaucracy is every bit as obnoxious as they say it is. Just to rent an apartment, you have to have a French "guarantor" to basically co-sign on your lease in case you default on your payments. This might not be so hard for a citizen who knows plenty of French people, but it makes it extremely difficult for a foreigner trying to find independent housing for a year or two. Every transaction requires three receipts and a million signatures and all kinds of proof that you're sure you know what you're doing. Just to get in the country, Jason has to get his birth certificate translated by a member of the American Translator's Association, at a hefty price, of course. And there are so many different offices that deal with so many different things and none of them can contact any of the other offices so if you're in the wrong place, too bad, try again in three weeks. Thankfully, I haven't had too much experience with it yet but I have applied for government housing aid and a residence permit so I am sure I'm about to get wrapped in paperwork with a nice red tape ribbon on my head.

Overall, this place has been pretty good to me so far. Maybe my mind will change in a few months when all I want is a DAMN BAGUETTE I THOUGHT THIS WAS FRANCE some Sunday down the road but I'll keep you posted.

Tips for Moving to France: Visas and Packing Ideas

I know this is not the most thrilling thing to write about but, as per mission #1 of this blog, I want to explain a few things that fellow Francophones-to-be may find useful. Do keep in mind that I was a Maryland resident and the process in your state may differ slightly. Click here to find your consulate.

1. Start your planning process as soon as possible. I spent a long time trolling the internet and talking to people who had recently pulled off an international move. It seems overwhelming, but get as many opinions and as much advice as possible before you even settle on your decision. You may find that moving to France is not really a good idea for you at this particular moment and it will save you a lot of money and time if you figure that out BEFORE you go.
2. You're up for the move, eh? If you're a US citizen going to France for any longer than 3 months, you will need a visa. There are several types of visas, as explained in detail here. The type of visa you get is determined by what you plan to do while you're in France. 
• Work Visa: Unless there is someone in France who is trying to hire you or your current company has some sort of set up overseas and they are going to hook you up, you are probably NOT eligible for a work visa. You can't just roll into France and try to get a full time job if you don't have a work visa. Even if you did show up and somehow got a job (which is unlikely because you need your visa number to fill out any kind of hiring paperwork and to deposit money into a French bank account and for... anything...), you could be deported if you stay longer than three months without a visa. 
• Long Stay Visitor Visa: This is for people who are just planning to go hang out in France for a while. You know, the Ernest Hemmingway types, who have inordinate amounts of time to "find themselves." As romantic as this sounds, it DOES NOT allow you to hold any kind of job while you are in France, so unless the amount of time you have to kill is equal to the amount of money you have to throw around, this may not be your best bet. If this sounds like what you want to do, be prepared to show proof that you got it like that: bring several current copies of your bank statements.
• Student Visa: This is the route I took. It's fairly easy to acquire and it allows you to work up to 20 hours per week without getting in trouble with the immigration office.  You must apply to your school and be accepted before you can apply for your visa. Determine what you plan to study (in my case, French) and find schools that meet your needs. I also had to complete a profile on CampusFrance, which basically registers you as a student in the nation of France. There is a helpful step by step explanation of the student visa application here and more general information about studying in France here. For more information about learning French in France, click here.
• Other Types of Visas: There are other ways to get into the country and stay there but I will be completely honest and admit that I didn't look into those since they didn't pertain to me. You can get a visa by marrying a French person or being a diplomat. In these cases, check out the consulate website for more information.
3. Now that you know what visa you need, it's time to get your paperwork in order. And believe me, there is plenty of it to complete. Read the consulate website THOROUGHLY. Now read it again. Here is the list of documents I had to provide for my student visa and here is the link to the long form applications and here is the link to the immigration (OFII) forms that you also need to bring with you. The documents for the types of visas vary so make sure you're looking at the right list. Jason, for example, had to get his birth certificate translated and submit his bank routing information because he will actually be working a full time job in France. Be aware of this when putting together your documents.
• Note: The DC consulate website also said that I needed to show proof of health insurance for the duration of my stay, so, like a good little American, I went out and got some. Cost me over $500 for four months and the consulate didn't even ask about it. Now, I don't know if they just missed it or forgot to ask or what but I certainly wish I had that $500 back if they weren't really going to require it. Just a heads up.
4. Once you have assembled all the documents, make at least three copies of all of them, just in case. You should also organize everything in a binder or folder or some way that looks like you actually know what's going on. I know this may seem excessive, but they definitely look more favorably upon those who show up with their shit together.
5. Make your visa appointment. I was required to have my plane ticket already purchased to prove that I was leaving the US within 90 days of being granted a visa. It takes 2-3 weeks to process your visa so you should book your flight for more than 3 weeks after your appointment but not more than 3 months after your appointment. Don't be like me and try to make things happen in a week and a half. It worked out, thankfully, but those were the 10 most stressful days of my life.
6. Show up at the consulate. There is no visa-by-mail; you have to be there in person. Bring everything they told you to bring. Look presentable. You don't need a suit and tie or anything but maybe save the jeggings and hoodies for after your appointment. They do speak English, so don't worry if you don't know any French yet, but it doesn't hurt to greet them with a friendly Bonjour.
7. After my initial appointment, they gave me my passport back and told me I would get a letter stating if my visa had been approved or not. I had to go back to the consulate to have my actual visa put in, about 8 days later. As I said, it usually takes about two to three weeks for all your visa paperwork to be processed so don't plan on going anywhere during those two to three weeks. Also, be prepared to make another trip to the consulte. This might be annoying for someone who lives a bit farther away than I did so brace yourself for it now.
• Again, please recall that all of this information was for the process at the DC consulate. When I got my visa for Spain from the New York City consulate, I only had to appear once and they mailed my passport back to me with my visa in it. Not sure if this is a difference between France and Spain or between DC and NYC so just be ready for either option.
8. If everything was in order and you don't have a record of terrorism, your visa was probably approved. Off to France with you!

Now that you're legally allowed to move to France, it's time to think about the logistics of your move. I found this link from HSBC to be incredibly helpful in planning my trip. Some thoughts of my own:

• What are you going to do with your car? I am loaning mine to a friend while he helps me pay it off and by the time I get back to the US, I will have something to drive. I am blowing through a lot of my savings to make this trip happen so it will be much easier for me to have a car when I get back rather than trying to buy a new one when I don't have any money left. Don't forget about your insurance, too.
• What are you going to do with your cell phone? Some carries can "unlock" your phone for international use and you just need to get a new SIM card and a new plan. I would NOT recommend trying to get an international plan for an American phone if you're going away for a long time. It's insanely expensive and just not worth it. It might not even work depending on your carrier. More on French cell phone plans at another time.
• What are you going to do with your stuff? I moved out of my house and into Jason's this summer and that really helped me cut down on my property. I sold all of my IKEA furniture on Craigslist and brought only the essentials. I have a few plastic bins of stuff that I want when we come back from France and those are in storage at Jason's parents' place. You can ship things overseas if you want, but it is pretty pricey. I was lucky to find a furnished residence so I didn't have to worry about furniture. If you're moving forever, you may wish to sell what you currently have and invest in some new stuff abroad.
• Have you set up a forwarding address for your mail? My stuff is being sent to my parents.
• Who is your emergency contact in the US if everything falls apart while you're in France or you start an international incident and accidentally blow something up? Seriously. Bailing someone out of jail from across an ocean is not easy. You better have a real good friend back home...

Finally, a suggested packing list. I knew I was carrying everything I wanted to bring on my back so that really narrowed down the items I packed. I am making a trip home for the holidays, though, so I have a pile of "round two" items still at home in Baltimore.

• Clothing: I try to blend in as much as possible when I travel so people won't harass me and the easiest way to do that is to dress like the locals. The French tend to dress up a bit more than Americans so leave your collection of grungy T-shirts at home with the holy sweatpants. Allow yourself a few of these items for kicking around the house or actually working out, but if this is your standard uniform in the US, you might want to upgrade before you leave home. Clothing is a bit more expensive in France and with your other costs of moving abroad, it might be worth it to get some items before you head out. The French also wear nice shoes all the time. Running shoes are for running, not for going out. Nice sneakers (like Pumas or Air Force Ones) are passable, especially amongst the younger crowd. Bring plenty of socks and undies. Depending on where you live in France and when you move, you may need warm outwear. Collapsable/fold up hampers are really handy for when your new duds get dingy!
• Toiletries: They may not have your favorite body wash or shampoo in France. If you're really committed to a particular brand, stock up before you go. Bring a roll of toilet paper if you are moving into your own place right away. There's nothing worse than building up a full bladder after a day of traveling only to find out you have nothing to wipe your ass with. (I found out the hard way. Thank you, Kleenex pocket tissues!)
• Linens: Equally miserable if you're moving into your new home right away is not having a place to rest your head on the first night. Bring sheets (even if they are the wrong size), a blanket and a pillow. You will thank me when you're not laying your head on a pile of sweaters. Bring a set of towels (2 bath, 2 hand, 2 washcloths) so you can wash away the grime of the plane when you get in.
• Dishes/Cookware: I had planned to bring these things but they got bumped for cute shoes and I totally regret it. Even if it's just a couple crappy plastic cups and bowls, it's nice to have something to eat on that you can reuse. It was also emotionally draining to go without cookware and therefore a warm meal for 4 days (my place does not have a microwave), especially because I enjoy cooking. A pot, pan, chef's knife and cutting board go a long way. Don't forget the flatware.
• Sentimental stuff from home: I am not usually one to get homesick because I travel a lot but there is a big difference between going away for a couple weeks and moving across an ocean to live in a completely different culture. You'll want something familiar for those days when you swear to GOD you will punch a BABY if you see one more baguette in a fucking BICYCLE BASKET. I have just a few things on the walls but they have really made my apartment feel that much more like a place I can call home.
• Miscellaneous: Flashlight, plastic bags, battery powered alarm clock, a few office supplies (stapler, tape, scissors, writing utensils) headphones, a binder full of copies your important documents, a French-English dictionary/phrase book if you don't speak French, playing cards, corkscrew. This is wine country, my friend.
• DO NOT BRING ELECTRONICS if at all possible. Seriously, it is just a pain in the ass to deal with adapters and converters and all that business. Just avoid the whole problem by leaving the electronics at home. I have my laptop (for which I had to get a new power cord because the converter shorted out my old one) and my American cell phone which I use exclusively as a digital camera and I charge it via USB on my laptop. That's it. If you want something else, especially like a flat iron or a hair dryer, it's best to get them here. I don't mess around with things that could electrocute me or burn my house down.

For more tips from another source, check out this blog that I found to be pretty helpful.

I hope I could offer some insight for those of you planning to make a move to France. It is a lot of work but so far, it has all been worth it. Good luck and happy travels!

Next time: My first days in France