Moving abroad is not easy. Armed with this knowledge, I braced myself for the paperwork and the confusion and the frustration of the logistics of taking my life across an ocean. I readied myself emotionally for the fact that I was leaving everything and everyone that I have ever known behind. I even prepared to be unprepared: There will be unforeseen issues that I couldn't have guessed would come up and they will be a problem. I knew all of this going into it and I was ready to take on the challenge.
Even with all this preparation, it's still hard. Finding an apartment is hard. Finding a job is hard. Making friends is hard. Trying to communicate when you know you don't have all the right words to express what you need is hard. I had a very comfortable life in Baltimore. I was finally feeling confident about my skills in my career, and even though I wasn't thrilled with my school at the time, I was talented enough to work for a functioning school and make a real difference. I had lots of friends that I could call up any day of the week and we could go get a drink or watch a movie or just stay up late chatting about nothing. I had places that I liked to go. I had routines.
I have none of those things now.
And then I think I have only been here for 13 weeks. I have spent just over three months in this country and I have done it completely on my own. There was no group or agency or organization that brought me here. There was no one waiting at the airport when I arrived. There was no one specially prepared to make my life easier. And, although this is an adventure Jason and I are doing together, the actual "together" part doesn't start until March when he arrives.
I still stand by my decision to come first. I was stalled out in Baltimore and I needed to do something else or I was going to lose my mind. I know that it would have been frustrating for Jason and I to both be floundering around here together, especially because I'm supposed to be the language expert. I am only now feeling like I can function in any situation here. At the same time, though, I am so eager to have someone to come home to at the end of the day. I will look forward to weekends again because it will no longer mean sitting in my apartment alone, wishing I had someone to talk to. I will wake up in his arms again.
March 5th, 11:40am. It's a week away and I have so much left to do before he gets here. I have to finish the paperwork for the apartment I found for us so that we can spend as little time as possible in this desolate dorm room. I have to go to the bank and talk to my buddy about the advantages and disadvantages of getting a joint account. I have to transfer my rental insurance. I have to figure out what I'm going to do about internet/TV in the new place. I have to find some furniture for the living room. I have to make sure that the transition is as smooth as possible for Jason.
I feel like I have something to prove when he gets here. See? I told you I would get things set up for us. I told you I'd take care of it. I told you this was going to be fun. The truth is I don't know if it's going to come together like that. In his scramble to finish his PhD, he hasn't really had time to work on his French and he's embarrassed that he is coming to a country and knows none of the language. I don't have any cool places to take him to dinner because I haven't been anywhere. I don't have a favorite bar to take him to because I hate the two bars I've been to here. I don't even have a local boulangerie to take him to for his first real French baguette. Gah! What have I been doing here???
I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I have a week. I'm working on it.
I still stand by my decision to come first. I was stalled out in Baltimore and I needed to do something else or I was going to lose my mind. I know that it would have been frustrating for Jason and I to both be floundering around here together, especially because I'm supposed to be the language expert. I am only now feeling like I can function in any situation here. At the same time, though, I am so eager to have someone to come home to at the end of the day. I will look forward to weekends again because it will no longer mean sitting in my apartment alone, wishing I had someone to talk to. I will wake up in his arms again.
March 5th, 11:40am. It's a week away and I have so much left to do before he gets here. I have to finish the paperwork for the apartment I found for us so that we can spend as little time as possible in this desolate dorm room. I have to go to the bank and talk to my buddy about the advantages and disadvantages of getting a joint account. I have to transfer my rental insurance. I have to figure out what I'm going to do about internet/TV in the new place. I have to find some furniture for the living room. I have to make sure that the transition is as smooth as possible for Jason.
I feel like I have something to prove when he gets here. See? I told you I would get things set up for us. I told you I'd take care of it. I told you this was going to be fun. The truth is I don't know if it's going to come together like that. In his scramble to finish his PhD, he hasn't really had time to work on his French and he's embarrassed that he is coming to a country and knows none of the language. I don't have any cool places to take him to dinner because I haven't been anywhere. I don't have a favorite bar to take him to because I hate the two bars I've been to here. I don't even have a local boulangerie to take him to for his first real French baguette. Gah! What have I been doing here???
I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I have a week. I'm working on it.
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