Stiches in the Sud-Ouest

My father never had a passport. He has lived and worked his entire life in the same city and although he has traveled a fair amount, even to exotic lands such as Canada, he never felt the urge to venture too far from home.

Until now.

A sneaky hidden benefit of living abroad is that it encourages people to visit who would otherwise never make the trip. My grandfather's failing health kept my father from taking the plunge sooner, as he and his siblings took shifts providing round the clock care for Grandpa these last two years, but now that he's at rest, it has given Dad the time he needed to cross the pond.

October is the perfect month to visit Bordeaux. It's just after harvest time, so the wineries are abuzz with activity. The summer tourists have all gone back to work and the regular staff is on duty at all the restaurants and shops so you get a much more authentic experience. Probably the best part is that the weather is almost always good. The days are still warm but not hot and the nights are cool but not cold. Rain is rare. We have had visitors for three Octobers in a row and we have yet to get more than a light afternoon sprinkle (touche bois).

Mom and Dad arrived on Saturday the 17th and I took them on the typical walking circuit of the city. There was a rugby match on that night so we went to the Black Velvet to watch it with some friends, but mostly it was a ploy to keep them awake long enough to break their jet lag.

On Sunday we were off to the Portes Ouvertes in the Graves, the same wine event that we do every year when our parents come to visit. It's a great way to see a little bit of the countryside and try a bunch of Bordeaux wines all at once. Plus, there are some awesome châteaux in the region, which is hard not to enjoy. We drank lots of wine and brought a bunch to take home, too.

Château Cérons

Don't think that will fit in your suitcase, guys.

It was fall break at Kedge so I only had to work two days out of the week, which meant I could take my parents somewhere fun with the rest of my time off. Since Mom had already been to the dunes, we decided to head east the Dordogne Valley. We took the scenic route getting there because I inadvertently programmed the GPS to avoid tolls and it took us through every tiny little town between here and Sarlat. The countryside is beautiful, though, with rolling hills and valleys, winding rivers and craggy cliffs.

If I were a more confident manual transmission driver, this might have been an enjoyable drive, but alas, I am not and it wasn't. I don't know if I have ever been more stressed in my life. Why did I think I could do this? I was supposed to learn to drive stick this summer to prepare for this trip, but it didn't happen between all the weddings and traveling that we did. Dad took me out driving a few times but I just never got enough practice. I don't know why I thought meandering around rural France was the time to learn but we can't always choose these things, can we? We made it in one piece but my nerves have certainly seen better days.

We explored Sarlat a little and had dinner at a nice little place serving local specialties. This region is literally out of a fairy tale; the movie Ever After was filmed at several locations in the vicinity. The medieval towns are living history books and the castles will leave you gobsmacked. It's an absolutely incredible part of France, one that we find ourselves drawn back to time and time again.

The next day, we drove to Castlenaud, a museum/castle perched high atop a cliff, overlooking the Dore river. If you're in the region, you really should check it out. It's impressive both inside and out, and the views of the surrounding area will take your breath away. We ran into an American woman that has been living in France for 20+ years and she told us that it gets harder and harder to go back home the longer you're abroad. "After five years, you're settled in." My mother didn't seem to appreciate this comment. I suppose we will see about that when the time comes.

Château Beynac

With the previous day's 3.5 hours of intensive training under my belt, I was already feeling a bit better behind the wheel and I made sure to take the highway back to Bordeaux. Thank you, Dad, for being so patient with my terrible driving and never getting stressed out even when you had every right to be. 1000 Good Dad Points for you.

I left Mom and Dad to their own devices on Wednesday while I went to work and they had a mostly relaxing day of wandering around town and catching up on their sleep. We had been running around non-stop since the very first moment they arrived so I'm not surprised they were tired.

Thursday was tourism day. We took the Petit Train tour around town and learned about the history fo Bordeaux. They seemed to get a kick out of that. Then, we hopped on the BatCub and took a ride over to Lormont. We strolled around the park, saw some random goats, checked out the quarry lake and headed back into Bordeaux for dinner.

I had two classes on Friday morning but I was finished by noon so we all met Jason out at his work (where we had been parking the car for free) and hit the road for San Sebastian. This is quickly becoming our favorite weekend getaway spot. The food is good, the weather is perfect and it's simply beautiful. It's impossible to take a bad picture in this place.

We drove through St Jean de Luz and Biarritz on our way back to Bordeaux, both of which are adorable little towns in the Pays Basque. They really do have their own culture that is very distinct from the rest of France. And just think: all of this is about 2.5 hours south of home. Two hours south of Rochester will get you to... Corning. (Dat museum of glass, doe)

Mom and Dad had an early flight back to America on Sunday morning so we packed the car and I drove them out to the airport. (It's much less stressful to drive at 5am when there's no one on the road.) It was such a whirlwind that if you blinked, you missed it but could see in my father's eyes that he had caught the bug. He was not the same because that's what traveling does to you. It shows you things that you never knew were possible. Little things that you didn't even realize were a part of your culture are suddenly painful obvious. And it's weird and it's hard and it's confusing, but that's what makes it so good.

I already can't wait for them to come back.

Summertime and the living's... busy.

Every summer, we say to ourselves, "Selves. When people come to visit this year, it's going to be so much easier than last year." Unfortunately, this is always a lie. Summer is always wonderful, but it has yet to be easy.

After Jenna's wedding, I was doing a lot of entrance interviews for the incoming students at Kedge. It pays pretty well and it's cool getting to meet some of the students that I could potentially have in the fall, but it's exhausting. Sometimes you have nine candidates back to back. At 20 minutes each and only 5 minutes in between to evaluate them, it gets very tiring very quickly. Lucky for us, we had free buffet lunch (with wine!!) everyday so I guess it sort of balances out. Having four course meals everyday is maybe not so good for my waistline but it sure is good for morale.

In mid-June, Kim, an old friend of mine from high school, and her husband Kyle stopped in Bordeaux on their way around the world. They left their fancy jobs in Silicon Valley, sold their house, packed a bag and just decided to spend a year traveling. In some ways, I envied them. Just think of how many different places you can see in a year. It was mind boggling. On the other hand, I couldn't imagine living out of a suitcase for that long. As much as I love seeing the world, the feeling of coming home is pretty awesome, too. They told us all the ups and downs, the highlights and lowlights and honestly, it is a pretty incredible story. You can read all about it on their (much better looking than mine) blog!

They spent just a few days with us, most of which Jason and I were working so we only really saw them in the evenings for dinner. We had one nice day up in Lormont, taking the boat across the river and napping out by the lake. I suppose when you've already traveled halfway around the world, sometimes you just need a few days to do nothing.

At the same time, Jason's old boss Natalia was in town, doing a little guest appearance at the lab for a couple of weeks. This woman is my hero. She is a badass scientist, at the top of a male-dominated field, and she looks damn good doing it. She's a no nonsense kind of woman at work but is the first to let her hair down when it's time to play. I want to be her when I grow up.

Dinner at Miles. So delicious.

Having a glass of wine at Bo Bar

Not long after we said goodbye to Natalia, Kim and Kyle, we were saying hello to Jason's family. Jackie, Jeremy, Jenny, and Dave had just finished a week-long tour around Iceland and were doing the next leg of their adventure with us in Bordeaux and the surrounding area.

Dinner at Les Voûtes, our new favorite for big groups.

We rented two cars and drove down the coast, stopping at the Dune du Pyla on our way to San Sebastian. A bit of advice: When it's 40°C outside, that means that the sand will be even hotter. If you decide to run barefoot down the dune, you WILL feel like your feet are burning off. Both Dave and I nearly vomited from the pain. It was unlike anything I have ever experienced. Also, taking a long walk in desert-like conditions is not a good idea if you don't have any water with you. Jackie almost passed out and was not well until she got some fluids in her. Perhaps climbing the dune was not the best idea on the hottest day of the year...

Once we arrived in San Sebastian, we had slightly more reasonable weather and the view is still unbeatable from Hotel Monte Igueldo. It is becoming our go to spot when people decide they want to come to Spain. We even got to visit the amusement park (it was closed when Jason's parents were here in October last year), including la Casa del Terror. It was a little light on the terror but I am a baby and was still scared.

We got tapas at four different places, each one offering more delicious snacks than the last. Jeremy was really leading way on the hunt for good food and I was simply doing what I could to help with the language barrier. Still, there are a lot of specific food words that I don't know, mostly because I was too poor to eat out when I lived in Sevilla or even in Salamanca. I guess I am making up for it now.

I don't know what any of this is but it was all delicious.

After a lovely evening in Spain, we got back on the road to the Pyrénées. We stayed at this adorable little gîte called Domaine Du Sauveur in Luz-Saint-Sauveur, smack in the middle of all the best things to see and do in the region. Jason and I had just been to Gavarnie in February for a ski trip but the hiking trails were closed for the season. The Cirque de Gavarnie is supposed to be pretty incredible so we planned that for our first day. It certainly did not disappoint, with beautiful waterfalls and impressive views the whole way.

It was the 4th of July so we had a big silly American party. Jackie carried the party supplies all the way from the US, across Iceland and to the mountains, just so we could celebrate properly. It was pretty awesome.

The only downside was that I was suddenly feeling a little strange. I started coughing and couldn't stop. I was up all night with a fever and intense body aches, completely incapable of finding a comfortable sleeping position. I was a wreck the next day and couldn't move from the bed. I had to miss all the fun of the adventure to the Pic du Midi, which was doubly disappointing because I hadn't been there yet and really wanted to go. Usually, a little cold wouldn't hold me back but I couldn't breathe. It was a little scary and I had no idea what was wrong with me because it came on so suddenly.

The next day, the gang went off to Cautrets and I spent another day in bed, trying not to die. I didn't feel quite as bad since Jason and I had been on this hike up to the Lac de Gaube before so I wasn't missing out on anything new. I was feeling moderately better by the time they got home but I was still having trouble breathing. 

On our way out of the Pyrénées, we stopped by this castle on a hill. I don't even know what it's called because I was too busy gasping for breath while we were climbing up to it. It was lovely and all but it would have been lovelier if my lungs were working at the time.

We bade farewell to the Pyrénées, packed up the cars and headed back to Bordeaux. We were all pretty tired from all of our adventures but happy. We had a day to unwind back in the apartment before the crew took of for the US. As always, it was a lot of work and preparation to get their trip together but we were so happy to have them. Even when it's hard, and annoying and people get on your nerves, there is nothing like family.

P.S. It was pneumonia. Who gets pneumonia??

The Bayers in Bordeaux

After hearing how much fun everyone had in April, Jason's father Jay decided that he should visit us in Bordeaux, if for nothing else than to see what all the fuss was about. It took quite a bit of convincing and there was even a moment when I thought he might just say forget it and never come, but Jason's powers of persuasion are strong. Julie was, as she always is, just excited to be spending time with us.

Jason is quite the planner when it comes to vacations, so he had their whole 10-day adventure laid out: Day trips to a few nearby towns, plus a night in San Sebastian, all strategically interspersed with downtime in Bordeaux. Some of you may be thinking to yourselves "Ten days with your in-laws sounds like a lot" and you would be right, BUT it's a long time to have ANYONE stay in your house and keep them entertained. I must admit that the time really flew by because we had so much to do thanks to Jason's expert organization. No visit is perfect but we got pretty darn close. Here are some highlights:

Cognac
We stole this one from when Kelly and Kate were here. Tour a maison, drink lots of cognac, hang out by the river. Check, check and check. The only negative point of the day was the wait time on our dinner. I swear it was a full hour between our appetizer and our main dish, with no one coming to offer us more wine or an apology for the delay. Service in France isn't maniacal constant badgering like in the US but it's not usually total abandonment, either. I swear, I nearly got up to go fishing for my own damn merlu... And then I remembered I was having a three-course meal in Cognac and I felt just a bit pretentious!

If I had any artistic ability, this is what I would paint.

Portes Ouvertes in Graves
This was such a hit with my mom last year that we decided to do it again with Jason's parents. (Jay is not one to miss out on the fun if everyone else is doing it.) We rented a car and dragged Rick along for the ride for a perfectly sunny day of wine tasting and touring. As is often the case, I got to play translator at a few places and show off my bilingualism a little bit, and Jay discovered how tricky it can be to separate two Romance languages :"I keep saying 'Sí' but I know I'm supposed to say 'Oui'! This is ridiculous." Also, wine!

Château Cerons

Château Castres 

Toulouse
As a girl, Julie had a couple of pen pals from Toulouse so she had always dreamed of visiting. Jason and I are in the business of making dreams come true so we hopped a train and off we went for a day in the ville en rose. It was our first time, too, so we had plenty to explore and discover, and it was kind of cool to share Julie's wide-eyed wonder in this new city. We almost got stuck with a 50-minute delay on our return to Bordeaux, but I was able to get us home on time by requesting seats on the train prior to ours that was also late. Bam! Nicole saves the day.

Finally talking to Jay
My relationship with Jay has always been a bit... strained. I don't know if it's because he thinks I'm encroaching on his time with his one and only baby boy, or if it's because we have such vastly different opinions on literally everything, or maybe it's because I don't fit his ideal of what a "good woman" is. I got on like a house on fire with everyone else in the family while Jay and I were barely making sparks.

One night after some escargots and a few glasses (bottles) of wine, the two of us ended up getting in a very intense conversation about everything from white privilege to systemic racism to socialized health care and everything in between. I'm not saying that we see eye to eye on all of these issues now, but I do think that I helped him see the flaw in the "bootstraps" argument that he believed so earnestly. So you mean black and brown people aren't just inherently lazy? And that even though I grew up a poor kid in the country, I still had certain advantages afforded to me simply because of my skin color? It took hours, but if I can get a staunch republican to admit that there are systems in place in the US that keep certain people in power and others marginalized, it gives me hope for humanity.

In addition to the higher moral victory, it was also the moment that finally got Jay to see me as someone worthy of his time. There was a very tangible shift that night from my being some know-it-all liberal girl corrupting his only son to a well-educated, well-spoken person with passion, and even Jay can appreciate that. I don't necessarily need us to be best friends, but I do need him to respect me and I think we're finally getting to that point.

San Sebastian and Basque Cider Houses
In the final leg of Jay and Julie's trip, we drove down to our favorite Spanish town for the evening and relished in the local flavors of bacalao, rioja and endless pintxos. Rows upon rows of small plates, lined up across the bar, luring us in with their bright colors and intoxicating aromas. I love French food, but there is something so playful about tapas-style eating. You can try so many different things, a little at a time, taking a little culinary voyage with every bite. It also doesn't hurt that San Sebastian is a stunningly beautiful city.

Pintxos for dinner

The view from our hotel

After a night of snacking and drinking, we ventured outside of town a bit to the Petretegi cider house for a fun day of learning about the Basque region, cider making and of course lots of drinking. The giant barrels were so pressurized that the cider would come shooting out of them and lightning speed. You had to be pretty quick with your glass to catch it all!

With over a week's worth of memories and new experiences to share with their friends, Jay and Julie headed back to Pennsylvania. We can't be sure, but something tells me they'll be back...