That is unless you're planning or performing a wedding.
Planning
Remember that time when Jason and I got engaged? Typically, that means that sometime in the relatively near future there will be some sort of wedding that needs to take place. We had toyed with doing an informal "paperwork" ceremony with just our parents but there were some differences in opinion and logistical issues that made us reconsider. But then again, as your average American girl, I do want the big white dress and a fancy party where everyone tells me how pretty I am all day so I guess that's what we're doing!
Shockingly, (When will they invent a sarcasm font???) Jason doesn't really care about having a wedding and has left the lion's share of the planning up to me. I am 100% okay with this. I know he doesn't care about the color of the linens or the font on the stationery so why would I even include him in those decisions? He has, however, waived all complaining and "I told you so" rights in the event that he is displeased with a decision I have made. I might have to get that in writing...
Seeing as I live in France, I have left the lion's share of my lion's share of the planning up to my mother. She has graciously offered to put on this event for us and is in a much better position to make it happen. I am doing the best I can from France, but I also understand that I am only going to be in the United States three more times before our proposed date of September 19th, 2015. A lot of the ground work will fall on her shoulders and the team of aunts/cousins/friends I know she has already assembled.
Lucky for us, we have plenty of time to work with and I already have some ideas about what this day will look like. I did some research online about venues in Rochester (there are a few too many confederate flags still flying in Waynesboro for me to feel comfortable putting on a multiracial wedding there) and narrowed it down to five places I thought might fit for us. This was how I spent my week in Rochester.
What I learned from our venue shopping experience is that I need to get into the wedding business because I would be filthy rich. $1000 to stand on your patio for 20 minutes? I just can't. $350 cake cutting fee? I will cut it my damn self. $5000 just to use the space, not even including tables, chairs or something to eat? That is unreal. We saw a lot of really nice places but when it was all said and done, there were only two that fit our budget and seemed like places I would actually like to spend a few hours with 130 or so of my closest friends and family members: ARTISANworks and the Rochester Museum and Science Center. They both have their pros and cons (including BYOB at Artisan Works and our ceremony complete with star show in the planetarium at the RMSC) so I am going to bring Jason to them both in December when we're back in town and get his opinion. Once that's out of the way, the real fun begins! And by fun I mean stress and annoying details that even I don't care about. Take it away, Mom.
Remember that time when Jason and I got engaged? Typically, that means that sometime in the relatively near future there will be some sort of wedding that needs to take place. We had toyed with doing an informal "paperwork" ceremony with just our parents but there were some differences in opinion and logistical issues that made us reconsider. But then again, as your average American girl, I do want the big white dress and a fancy party where everyone tells me how pretty I am all day so I guess that's what we're doing!
Shockingly, (When will they invent a sarcasm font???) Jason doesn't really care about having a wedding and has left the lion's share of the planning up to me. I am 100% okay with this. I know he doesn't care about the color of the linens or the font on the stationery so why would I even include him in those decisions? He has, however, waived all complaining and "I told you so" rights in the event that he is displeased with a decision I have made. I might have to get that in writing...
Seeing as I live in France, I have left the lion's share of my lion's share of the planning up to my mother. She has graciously offered to put on this event for us and is in a much better position to make it happen. I am doing the best I can from France, but I also understand that I am only going to be in the United States three more times before our proposed date of September 19th, 2015. A lot of the ground work will fall on her shoulders and the team of aunts/cousins/friends I know she has already assembled.
Lucky for us, we have plenty of time to work with and I already have some ideas about what this day will look like. I did some research online about venues in Rochester (there are a few too many confederate flags still flying in Waynesboro for me to feel comfortable putting on a multiracial wedding there) and narrowed it down to five places I thought might fit for us. This was how I spent my week in Rochester.
What I learned from our venue shopping experience is that I need to get into the wedding business because I would be filthy rich. $1000 to stand on your patio for 20 minutes? I just can't. $350 cake cutting fee? I will cut it my damn self. $5000 just to use the space, not even including tables, chairs or something to eat? That is unreal. We saw a lot of really nice places but when it was all said and done, there were only two that fit our budget and seemed like places I would actually like to spend a few hours with 130 or so of my closest friends and family members: ARTISANworks and the Rochester Museum and Science Center. They both have their pros and cons (including BYOB at Artisan Works and our ceremony complete with star show in the planetarium at the RMSC) so I am going to bring Jason to them both in December when we're back in town and get his opinion. Once that's out of the way, the real fun begins! And by fun I mean stress and annoying details that even I don't care about. Take it away, Mom.
Not all of my time at home was consumed by wedding stuff. I spent an evening hanging out with my old high school pals, Shelley and Erin, which was really delightful. I also caught up with my long-time friend, Lisa, who is pretty much my hero and, despite being eight months her senior, I want to be her when I grow up. She is also an amazing photographer and has already agreed to shoot our wedding. Bam! Check that off the list.
I also got to see some other members of my family while I was in town. We went out to breakfast with my niece, Zoe, before going to see my younger brother, Josh, who recently bought a house with his girlfriend, Stefanie. It's freaking beautiful and I am so proud (jealous?) of them. I also dropped in to see my older brother, Patrick, at his place in Buffalo. I was amazed by his French skills, especially since he hasn't spoken it since high school, which was 15 years ago for him. I am more and more convinced that his brain operates on a completely different level than the rest of our's. Take that as you will.
As I was packing up for part two of my "vacation," I felt a little overwhelmed by the whole process of wedding planning, but at least I was heading in the right direction. We're going to make it work!
I also got to see some other members of my family while I was in town. We went out to breakfast with my niece, Zoe, before going to see my younger brother, Josh, who recently bought a house with his girlfriend, Stefanie. It's freaking beautiful and I am so proud (jealous?) of them. I also dropped in to see my older brother, Patrick, at his place in Buffalo. I was amazed by his French skills, especially since he hasn't spoken it since high school, which was 15 years ago for him. I am more and more convinced that his brain operates on a completely different level than the rest of our's. Take that as you will.
As I was packing up for part two of my "vacation," I felt a little overwhelmed by the whole process of wedding planning, but at least I was heading in the right direction. We're going to make it work!
Performing
A few weeks before Jason and I got engaged, our very dear friends, Paul and Ama beat us to the punch. These two are pretty much the reason we're even together so we owe them a huge debt of gratitude so when they picked Jason to be the best man and later asked if I would officiate their ceremony, we certainly couldn't say no. All the cool kids are getting ordained these days so I Googled it and 15 minutes later, I was a minister!
I flew from Rochester to Detroit, where my former co-worker, Sarah, came to scoop me up at the airport. I cried when I saw her. When you love someone as much as I love this girl, it's hard to not cry when you haven't seen them in a year. We hugged it out for at least 20 minutes while waiting for my bag and then we got Jason from the international terminal. We checked out downtown Detroit (which was surprisingly nice and I would like to publicly apologize for talking so much shit about it) got dinner at a BBQ place, and went for fancy cocktails across the street. I wish we could have stayed longer but duty calls and the next day, Paul and Ama came to pick us up and take us to Grand Rapids so we could start getting ready for their wedding.
As the best man and the officiant, Jason and I had our work cut out for us. We stuffed gift bags, assembled favors, ran errands, schmoozed with family members, and, most importantly, practiced our speeches for the big day. Have you ever tried to write a wedding ceremony? It seems like it would be pretty easy at first glance but then you realize this is the one time of the day when everyone is completely sober and paying attention to YOU. No pressure. Paul, Ama and I spent many hours coming up with just the right words and in the end, I think we pulled off a really lovely ceremony. Paul's parents are pretty religious and even they were happy with it, despite not being held in a church with a real religious figure. Gold star for me!
The day was certainly not without its hiccups. Ama's sister/maid of honor was throwing a violent tantrum just as Ama was putting on her wedding dress, which made for a really shitty way to start the day, but I guess they worked it out because they were hugging it out and taking a million pictures together a few hours later. We were running behind schedule for pictures because hair and make-up took longer than expected and when it was time for family shots, there were some grandmother-of-the-bride corsages that somehow didn't make it to the reception site. Once the booze started flowing, however, everyone calmed down and enjoyed the evening. It was a beautiful wedding and I can't begin to explain how honored I felt to play a role in their future together.
I might need to take my act on the road. I am still job searching in Bordeaux and it seems like I could make a sack of money performing wedding ceremonies, especially for Americans having destination weddings here. Not sure about the legal aspects but I am so ready to get a slice of that wedding business pie! In all seriousness, though, I can't think of a better gift to give a friend than a really meaningful, personal wedding ceremony. It was awesome.
After the wedding, we went up to Lake Michigan for a couple nights of camping with the newlyweds and their families, which was really nice. Camping with a big group is considerably less relaxing than camping with a small one but we still had a wonderful time. It's hard not to when you're surrounded by high-quality people.
I don't know how it happened so fast but suddenly it was time to go back to Bordeaux. I certainly wouldn't call my time back home a vacation but it was SO GOOD to see pretty much all of the people I miss the most. Obviously, I wish I could have spent some time in Baltimore with the crew there or even see Jason's family in Waynesboro, but it will have to wait. We'll be back home in December for the holidays, again next August, once more in December 2014 and then... We're getting married!
I flew from Rochester to Detroit, where my former co-worker, Sarah, came to scoop me up at the airport. I cried when I saw her. When you love someone as much as I love this girl, it's hard to not cry when you haven't seen them in a year. We hugged it out for at least 20 minutes while waiting for my bag and then we got Jason from the international terminal. We checked out downtown Detroit (which was surprisingly nice and I would like to publicly apologize for talking so much shit about it) got dinner at a BBQ place, and went for fancy cocktails across the street. I wish we could have stayed longer but duty calls and the next day, Paul and Ama came to pick us up and take us to Grand Rapids so we could start getting ready for their wedding.
As the best man and the officiant, Jason and I had our work cut out for us. We stuffed gift bags, assembled favors, ran errands, schmoozed with family members, and, most importantly, practiced our speeches for the big day. Have you ever tried to write a wedding ceremony? It seems like it would be pretty easy at first glance but then you realize this is the one time of the day when everyone is completely sober and paying attention to YOU. No pressure. Paul, Ama and I spent many hours coming up with just the right words and in the end, I think we pulled off a really lovely ceremony. Paul's parents are pretty religious and even they were happy with it, despite not being held in a church with a real religious figure. Gold star for me!
The day was certainly not without its hiccups. Ama's sister/maid of honor was throwing a violent tantrum just as Ama was putting on her wedding dress, which made for a really shitty way to start the day, but I guess they worked it out because they were hugging it out and taking a million pictures together a few hours later. We were running behind schedule for pictures because hair and make-up took longer than expected and when it was time for family shots, there were some grandmother-of-the-bride corsages that somehow didn't make it to the reception site. Once the booze started flowing, however, everyone calmed down and enjoyed the evening. It was a beautiful wedding and I can't begin to explain how honored I felt to play a role in their future together.
I might need to take my act on the road. I am still job searching in Bordeaux and it seems like I could make a sack of money performing wedding ceremonies, especially for Americans having destination weddings here. Not sure about the legal aspects but I am so ready to get a slice of that wedding business pie! In all seriousness, though, I can't think of a better gift to give a friend than a really meaningful, personal wedding ceremony. It was awesome.
After the wedding, we went up to Lake Michigan for a couple nights of camping with the newlyweds and their families, which was really nice. Camping with a big group is considerably less relaxing than camping with a small one but we still had a wonderful time. It's hard not to when you're surrounded by high-quality people.
I don't know how it happened so fast but suddenly it was time to go back to Bordeaux. I certainly wouldn't call my time back home a vacation but it was SO GOOD to see pretty much all of the people I miss the most. Obviously, I wish I could have spent some time in Baltimore with the crew there or even see Jason's family in Waynesboro, but it will have to wait. We'll be back home in December for the holidays, again next August, once more in December 2014 and then... We're getting married!
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