My Best Friend's Wedding

"I'm getting married and obviously I want you to be a bridesmaid but you live in France so I totally understand if..."

"Say no more. I will be there. With bells on. Well, maybe not the bells part but I will be there."

***

Jenna and I met at Frisbee back in college. I thought she was a year older because she seemed like she had her shit together so much more than the rest of our dazed and confused freshman bunch. Somehow she managed to avoid all the drama but was still there for all the cool stuff.

Kweezy Ultimate!

Sophomore year was tough, in part because I was a hot mess on all levels but also in part because my three best buddies all went abroad at the same time, leaving me with only myself to blame for my terrible decisions. When Jenna got back form Ireland, we decided to start living together and we have been pretty inseparable since.

With Danielle, another awesome girl from Frisbee.

With Jess, our housemate and partner in crime.

Celebrating Jenna's 22nd birthday in style

For some reason, they decided to give us diplomas.

When I got accepted to Teach For America and they asked me where I would like to be placed, my first choice was DC because that's where Jenna was going to be. Baltimore was my second choice only because of its proximity to DC (and that one time we visited with the band in 10th grade). Only a short train or car ride down the road and we could continue our college hijinks into adulthood!

So when Jenna asked if I could make it, there was only one option, other responsibilities be damned! I had to cancel two classes, miss the Gaelic Football finals in Paris and shell out a small fortune, but there was no way I was going to miss my best friend's wedding.

I was home in November for Steven and Ashley's blizzard wedding and was able to swing by David's Bridal to get my bridesmaid dress. Thank God Jenna is a reasonable person and just said "get any dress in mint" because otherwise, I may have been out of luck. I had 20 minutes to grab something off the rack and hope that it fit. Mission 1 accomplished.

I left Bordeaux on Thursday morning and landed in DC later that evening. Jenna was able to scoop me up from the airport, bring me back to her and Ben's newly purchased home in Arlington and then they took me out for barbecue. (If there's one thing they're really missing out on in France, it's good ol' American BBQ.)

On Friday, we had work to do, (after bagels, mimosas, and mani pedis of course). There were lights to be strung, decorations to assemble and display, Spotify DJ playlists to create. The wedding was being held at the Chesapeake Bay Environmental Center, and while it is beautiful and natural and all that good stuff, it's not necessarily set up for having a wedding. That's why we had a lot to do to get the place looking like a party hall.

After a long day of work, we were treated to an excellent rehearsal dinner, catered by the Baltimore-based restaurant Clementine (the same place where we asked Paul and Ama if they would be our witnesses in our little wedding). They were also doing the food for the reception and I can honestly say it was the best wedding food I have ever had. Hands down.

Sunset at the CBEC

After the dinner, we went back to the hotel and met up with a couple of old friends from DC. This is where the bad decisions began. We got beers and shots at the local VFW, where we were the youngest patrons by a good 50 years, climbed on the tank out front and then went back to the hotel for a parking lot party. We may have shotgunned beers in the trunk of Will's car. None of this was really planned but old habits with old friends die hard. And they worry about the groom getting ripped up the night before the wedding... At least we looked good doing it.

 

I'm not sure any of us were feeling 100% on the morning of the wedding but at least Jenna could blame it on nerves. Ashly and I were just hungover. But that's nothing a little make-up and some Excedrine can't fix!

Game face

The wedding was beautiful but I didn't take a single picture because I was too busy dancing like a fool and stuffing my face with delicious food. The weather cooperated for most of the day, only deciding to bring on a torrential downpour during dinner when we were all inside anyway. The catering team had to scramble and move everything inside but it ended up working out perfectly. There is something really magical about being a part of such a special day in the life of someone you love. Jenna and Ben seemed so happy. Just look at those faces!

We partied late into the night, eventually ending up back in the hotel to finish off a few beers but all of us were pretty much done at that point. Raging is hard when you're old!

Sunday was clean up day and everyone went home with a bunch of leftover booze. No one complained. It's insane to think of how much work goes into a wedding, only for it to be over in a couple of hours. Totally worth it, though.

We headed back to Arlington and decided to go see if our old Ithaca/Ultimate friend Jon was working at the local bar. Indeed he was and it was a glorious reunion!

Nawshus Ultimate! I love these people.

The name the dorm where Jon and I lived freshman year is also the name of the bar where he now works.

Obligatory BFF selfie. Rocking our Kweezy hoodies.

On Monday, it was time to go back to France. We grabbed some tasty tacos on the way to the airport, completing my list of all the things I wanted to do in America: eat BBQ, eat bagels, eat tacos, drink good beers, and hang out with the people I love. Check and check. It was a whirlwind weekend but I wouldn't have traded it for anything in the world. Being able to see Jenna marry her best friend was absolutely priceless and if I was able to contribute to that moment in any small way, it was all worth it. Congratulations, Jenna and Ben! Here's to a lifetime of adventures and delicious craft beers. I love you guys!!

Touring around Tours

I once saw a bumper sticker that read, "New Jersey: A Great Destination in Any Direction!" I couldn't help but think it was a little sad. The selling point of your state is how great everything else is around it? When I think about it, though, this is a large part of the reason why I love Bordeaux so much. Of course it's fantastic all on its own, but if you take any method of transportation, in two hours or less you can be in yet another amazing place. This week's episode of "Awesome Weekend Getaways From Bordeaux" features Tours and the Loire Valley.

Even though the SNCF is on strike about every other day, when the trains are running, they are actually quite pleasant and efficient. The stations are always very close to the center of town, which means that walking or taking public transit to your hotel is easy and affordable. We stayed at the quaint and quiet Hotel du Cygne right in the heart of Tours, a short 10 minute walk from the train station. 

On the way to the hotel, we stopped by the tourist office to see what was on for the weekend. They had lots of suggestions, maps, and brochures, as they always do at the tourist offices of Europe, and we started to sketch out a plan. Tours itself is lovely but not very big and it seemed like its main appeal was to serve as the gateway to the châteaux of the Loire Valley. After a quick stroll around town, which included a drink in the picturesque Place Plumereau, we decided to book a tour for the next day that would shuttle us around to several different castles in the area.

We had to leave pretty early in the morning for our excursion with Touraine Evasion because we had four different castles to see in just one day!

Castle 1: Amboise

Our first stop was definitely a good starting point. Amboise, in addition to being a beautiful example of 15th century architecture with panoramic views of the Loire, is the final resting place of THE Leonardo Da Vinci.

Castle 2: Chenonceau
This was definitely my favorite of the bunch that we saw, and the second most visited castle in France after Versailles. It's construction was overseen in large part by Katherine Briçonnet from 1515 to 1521 and it was later updated by Diane de Poitiers and Catherine de Medici. Although Catherine was queen, Diane was Henri II's mistress and he gifted her the castle in 1547. She was responsible for the beautiful gardens and fruit trees you can see around the castle. Catherine finally took it over when Henri II died and she went to great lengths to beautify the place even more with paintings and floral gardens, mostly so she could impress all her guests when she threw wild parties there. Like a boss.

Castle 3: Cheverny
After Chenonceau, pretty much any castle is going to seem just average, but Cherverny was still pretty cool because of it's dog kennel, with 100 hunting hounds wandering around all over the place. It was also the inspiration for Marlinspike Hall in The Adventures of Tintin. Another fun fact: this castle has belonged to the Hurault family for over 600 years and they still live there today.

Castle 4: Chambord
We finished strong with a visit to the MASSIVE Château Chambord. It's hard to describe how big this place really is and the pictures don't even do it justice. The 16th century was all about building castles to impress your friends and no one was doing it better than the French kings. When it was finally finished during Louis XIV's reign, Chambord was used mostly as a hunting lodge and occasional party house. There were a couple of occupants later on, but today it's a museum owned by the French government and has been classified as a UNESCO world heritage site.

We were pretty castled out by the end of the day but I think we were both glad to have seen all that we did. Back in Tours, we went for dinner at this great Italian restaurant called Zafferano where the chef cooks right out in the open and doesn't let you order wine for yourself. He will choose the best wine based on what you order and that's what you will have. We ended up chatting with him late into the night (half in French, half in English), learning all about his charity organization and what he loves about being a chef.

The next day, we wandered around the city of Tours a little bit and stopped by St. Gatien's Cathedral and the Musée du Compagnonnage, or the Craftsmen Museum. Normally, I am not super into churches or museums, but both of these were worth the visit. The cathedral had some of the most beautiful stained glass windows I have ever seen and the museum was filled with really cool handmade works made by traveling craftsmen. They were the people that built the castles, did the iron working, constructed the bridges all over Europe and were some of the original Free Masons.

We finished our visit to Tours with a beer and a snack en terrasse at a little bar down the street from our hotel. We ended up sharing some jambon cru and this amazing foie gras with this random French guy named Vincent who decided it was a good day to chat up some Americans. Thanks, Tours, for a lovely weekend!

Château de Tours. Meh.

The lovely Loire river

This is made completely of sugar.

Budapest and Baltimore

One of the biggest perks of Jason's job (aside from the whole living in Bordeaux thing) is that he has a handful of all-expenses paid conferences around the world every year. Some of the destinations are a bit underwhelming (Galveston, TX? I'll pass.) but more often than not, he gets to travel to some pretty awesome places. This year alone he has conferences in Boston, San Francisco, Naples/the Amalfi coast and, most recently in Budapest. When I learned that I happened to have a few days off right around the time that he would be there, I bought up some tickets, booked a flight and packed my bags. Eastward bound!

What up, Alps??

That same week, I learned of yet another young black man losing his life due to police misconduct and this time, it hit particularly hard because it happened in Baltimore. Freddie Gray could have easily been one of my students and my students could have easily been Freddie Gray. Every time this happens, I see my brothers, my cousins, my friends, my FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS that did not deserve to die. When the protests started in Baltimore, I was worried for the safety of my former students, their families and my friends who still live there, but mostly, I was proud that my city was speaking out. This type of police brutality will not stand! Our voices will be heard! And then the violence started. A handful of isolated incidents, to be sure, but burning buildings and broken windows draw more viewers than peaceful marches so that's all that we saw on the news.

The ignorant were in top form, showing their racist colors all over social media and I couldn't stand it anymore. In the grand scheme of things, a frustrated Facebook post doesn't do much to help the cause but it's the best I could do when I live on the other side of the ocean. How can we condemn the reaction of a group of citizens that has been systematically neglected and abused for decades when one of their own is murdered by the very people meant to protect him? Why is it that outsiders didn't seem to care when a young man was killed in police custody but everyone is suddenly up in arms when property is damaged? They care more about buildings than black lives and this was never more apparent than this week. A small minority of black people react with violence when they actually have something to be angry about and it's a riot. Hundreds of white people flipping and burning cop cars, looting and tearing streetlights out of the ground after the big game, and it's just some sports fans celebrating a win! The hypocrisy was killing me.

The last person I expected to get into a Facebook feud with was my 1st grade teacher, who recently friended me. In response to my post, she jumped right on the white supremacy bandwagon, calling the protesters thugs and shaming them for destroying their own communities. "I can't condone violence! They should remain peaceful if they want people to listen to them!" I wanted to tell her that her racist comments were not welcome on my wall. I wanted to tell her to shut her stupid mouth if she didn't have anything nice to say. Isn't that what they teach you in 1st grade? I wanted to call her an ignorant asshole who didn't know the first thing about suffering. Instead, I destroyed every single one of her bullshit comments with carefully researched statistics and evidence. I was patient and polite, but I was definitely not letting her get away with being an idiot. It was an epic battle but in the end, it seemed like she almost started to understand how outrageously racist every word out of her mouth was. I felt good about standing up for my students and the community that shaped who I am today. It was a small act, but one that may have opened a few eyes and certainly showed whose side I was on.

I spent all of my time in the airport dealing with her foolishness and by the time I landed in Budapest, I was nearly out of battery on my phone. I got out of the subway in the right neighborhood but the map I had was not helping me get to my hotel. I used my last 2% and some international phone charges to call the hotel owner to come and get me.

Agnes showed me to our INCREDIBLE hotel, right in the heart of the city, and I was settled in by 7:30pm. Jason was staying across town for the conference but would join me later that evening. He had a dinner cruise to attend but we planned to meet up at his hotel afterward, around 9. By the time I got done being a social media warrior, it was around 8:45 so I figured I should find something to eat myself. I enjoyed a quick and quiet dinner for one at a little pizza place up the road and texted Jason to let him know that I was on my way to him. I didn't get a response but since we had a plan, I didn't think much of it.

When I arrived at the hotel, I had them call his room but he didn't pick up. I sent text after text with no response. I even called his cell (more international charges) with no success. I finally got a very curt message from him: "At ruin bar. Come meet us." Where? How? Which bar? "It's a bit of a walk." In which direction? Do I need to get a cab? Is it safe?

I asked the front desk staff if they had any idea what he might be talking about and they gave me a map of the city with some suggestions of where he probably was. Let us keep in mind that I have just arrived in Budapest, a city I know literally nothing about. As a young woman, walking alone in a new city at night, with only a rough idea of where I was supposed to be going, you can imagine why I was a little anxious. I was texting and calling non-stop and getting NOTHING from Jason. Not cool.

When I finally found the "bar", it was actually a large beer garden of sorts, with several bars in a long row, and there were literally hundreds of people milling about in the streets. I'm supposed to find you in this?!?? You've got to be kidding. I had flown across the continent to come see him, and he blew me off to go drinking with his buddies, without giving me so much as a heads up. I went from being slightly on edge to being downright livid.

I finally found him in the crowd and he acts as if everything is all good. I made it very clear that I was pissed and he could not for the life if him figure out why! You ditched me. You didn't call. You left me to wander around by myself in the middle of the night in a place I've never been. You don't understand why this is a big deal. To be fair, I was already a little riled up after my Facebook fight (21st century problems), and he was certainly not helping. I asked him to get me a beer and he came back with one for his buddy, one that he had already half drunk himself and none for me. I was thisclose to just heading back to the hotel.

Of course, Jason had about a million excuses for why he was so inconsiderate and tried to put it all right back on me. I should have been at the hotel earlier (even though he had confirmed it was okay that I was about 15 minutes late). He had to stay with the group or he would have lost them (even though everyone had a phone and he could have just texted them to figure out where they had gone.) His phone wasn't working (even though it was working perfectly fine before). I had nothing to worry about while walking around by myself because everyone told him Budapest is really safe. (because I would know that after just getting off the plane...) No apology at all. I was floored. I spent the rest of the night talking to everyone but him.

Even though the conference was over, Jason had work to do the next day so I was left to explore on my own. I walked everywhere and saw some really stunning parts of the city up close and personal. The fisherman's bastion was definitely my favorite. So intricate and colorful!

The view of Budapest from Gellert Hill

St. Stephen's Basilica. There was a beautiful wedding going on inside!

Matthias Church

The Fisherman's Bastion

Parliament Building

Some old friends were also in town so we arranged to get dinner with them later. In another miscommunication, Jason told them the wrong restaurant and didn't even realize it until we had been sitting by ourselves for 20 minutes. When they finally arrived, he was full of apologies, couldn't say sorry enough for the confusion and moderate inconvenience, even offering to buy the first bottle of wine. I was still waiting for so much as a "my bad." (Spoiler alert: I never got it.)

The next day, we were supposed to do some more exploring together but Jason's work took longer than expected and he spent another day in the hotel writing a paper and I spent another day wandering on my own. I do love a nice day to myself from time to time but I had very much been looking forward to a romantic weekend that never really came to be. These things happen, I suppose. He met me later in the evening for a walk up to the parliament building and dinner at a nice restaurant before meeting up with some folks for a beer or two.

Don't these dudes looks like they just saw a fine lady walk by?
"I hate to see you go but i LOVE to watch you leave"

On the banks of the Danube

The only picture of the two of us from the whole weekend.

On our last day, we went to the Rudas Turkish bath house and enjoyed a very relaxing soak in some ultra-old pools of varying temperatures. There were also several saunas that were hot enough to bake your back fat off if you sat there long enough. I lasted all of 20 seconds before finding a bucket of cold water to dump over my head. Refreshing!

We didn't do much touristy stuff on this trip but I found the history really interesting. While many parts of Budapest look old, a lot of the buildings are actually reconstructions. After WWI, the Austro-Hungarian empire collapsed and Hungary lost half of their citizens to the surrounding countries. Revolutions sprung up in the wake of the war, stagnating economic growth or recovery, and not long after, Budapest became a front line city in WWII, suffering intense damage as a result. The war was followed by several years of Soviet occupation that left the city economically disadvantaged. The Hungarians finally regained control in 1989, having spent 70 years in turmoil.

One of the most powerful monuments in the whole city is a sculpture called "Shoes on the Danube." When the Nazis took over, they would go on nightly raids to round up Jews and execute them on the banks of the river. They made them take off their shoes and stand on the edge so that when they fell, their bodies would be washed down the river. The sculpture is a truly humbling tribute to those that lost their lives and a constant reminder of that tragic period in Europe's history.

It was an emotionally charged weekend, to be sure. From a more-serious-than-normal spat with my husband, to grieving the loss of another black man at the hands of the police, to the senseless death of Jews during the Holocaust, I will always remember Budapest with a heavy heart. But perhaps, one full of hope for the future, as well...