Christmas is Coming

I remember being pretty impressed with the Christmas decorations in Bordeaux last year but this year, they made me squeal. Literally. When I saw all the lights at Sainte Catherine for the first time, I let out an audible giddy squeak and I wasn't even embarrassed. The last weekend in November, the city started prepping for Christmas and everyday there were more lights, more garlands, more trees, more glitter. It was impossible not to get excited about the holidays. What's more, there's no Thanksgiving here so no one got trampled during a Black Friday stampede to kick off a month of guilt-induced consumerism, which made it so much easier to enjoy the holidays for what they are!

Despite my usual ambivalence toward Christmas, I couldn't help but get caught up in the festivities this year. We have been listening to the Christmas Pandora station every night and I was the one who decided we needed a Christmas tree for the house. This girl! Buying Christmas trees! France has changed me.

Jason booked us a trip to Strasbourg, which is the Christmas capital of the universe, and we were not disappointed. Every building on every street corner was decked out from top to bottom in tinsel and ornaments and lights, giant stuffed teddy bears and shiny gift boxes. Their Christmas markets put Bordeaux's to shame. Also, their cathedral is RIDICULOUS. Also also, hot mulled wine everywhere.

Please note the travel mugs filled with wine

Jason ate nothing but choucroute for three days so the only downside of the trip was extreme flatulence, but we had a wonderful time nonetheless.

Back in Bordeaux, it was time for the giant wine tasting festival at Place de la Bourse. It's the same one I was at last year, this time with even more wines! It's amazing how different it was this year, now that I know some stuff about wine. We picked out the regions and châteaux that we were familiar with and skipped ones that we knew were not our favorites. I have preferences for certain vintages of certain châteux of certain regions of Bordeaux. Who am I?? I'm Nicole and I am drunk and happy.

Oh snap! Is it already time to go back to the US? Yes, yes it is. See you soon, America!

Catching Up

As much as I love to write, I now remember why I didn't do it while I was working in Baltimore. Teaching full time is really time consuming and even when I have a few extra minutes here and there, I a so tired, all I want to do is watch Mot de Passe and nap on the couch. I am only semi-conscious as we speak but it's about time I did a little update.

October:
After some initial inconsistencies in my schedule, things settled into a regular groove and that has helped my sanity tremendously. Glad that got sorted out. My classes are 90% awesome. I have one group that is not super bright and yet there is this handful of guys that think they can just chit chat and giggle to themselves the whole class. Umm... you're sophomores in college. Why are you behaving like my high school students? It's annoying. Otherwise, I am really impressed by my students and I am very much enjoying my job. I have a purpose! And money. Money is nice to have, too.

Jason and I took advantage of the wine harvest season to do some touring around a couple area vineyards. The tour to the Médoc region was just okay, and we learned that their wines are not our favorites, but the harvest day in the Blaye region was wonderful. It was just the two of us and our guide coming up from Bordeaux and we met up with a group of 30ish locals to pick grapes in the field inside the 17th century citadel. No big deal. The rain this year was catastrophic for the grapes so our job was pretty easy. Our day also included a wine tasting, followed by a delicious lunch (including wine), and then a tour of a bottling facility, followed by more wine tasting. And as payment for our work in the fields in the morning, we both got to take home... wait for it.... a bottle of wine. Best value tour EVER.

 

 

My mom came to visit, making her our first real guest, and it was a lovely time. Originally, she had only planned to come for a week but then decided to make it two and do some traveling: four days in Bordeaux, three in Edinburgh/Glasgow, two in London, and back to Bordeaux for four more. It was right during my fall break so the timing couldn't have been more ideal. We did all the good stuff: Dune du Pyla/Arcachon, visited some chateaux in the Graves region, St. Emilion, le petit train tour of the city... Good times! But I think the truly notable part of this whole visit was that my dear mother was able to get around Scotland and England all by herself. My dad has been dragging his feet getting a passport and my mom just couldn't wait any longer. I am immensely proud of her for building this adventure for herself. She came back from the UK with that glow that people get when they travel for the first time and it was wonderful.

 

 


I didn't have much time to break during fall break because as soon as my mom left, I had a weekend full of TFA phone interviews to conduct. Even though it was a bit intense, I feel like I really learned a lot from doing them. Some of the questions made me really think about my own answers and it just reminds me why I got into teaching in the first place. TFA is always good for giving me a little inspiration when I need it.

And now here we are in November.

The weather is getting colder and the rain is back. I'm not sure it ever really left, actually. It was just less intense for a couple months and now it's back to raining almost everyday. Why didn't anyone tell me it was so wet here? I was promised that the constant rain was completely atypical and that it would be better soon. Lies. I suppose I shouldn't complain because it didn't rain this weekend and it is neither unbearably cold nor insufferably hot. On the bright side, if we ever need some sun, Spain is right around the corner.

This past weekend we were in Brussels, which was really fun. Good beer, good food, good people. It was cold and raining (we brought the weather from Bordeaux) but it was a nice time all the same. Look at all this neat stuff we saw!

Classes are winding down quickly (these semesters are so short!) and my course load is looking a little bit lighter for the spring. Hopefully, that will mean that I can pick up some classes at the CEL, which are much smaller and a lot closer to home. I am happy to take whatever work I can get. This weekend was very social: Had a new friend for dinner on Friday night, went out to watch the rugby game last night and had our buddies over for football this evening. I keep telling myself I am going to use my weekends to get ahead for school but it's hard when you have people that you want to spend time with. This is a good problem to have.

Consciousness is leaving me so I will be on my way. À la prochaine!

Bon Anniversaire

A little over a year ago, I was moving out of the Red Door Inn, the home I had made for myself for the last 4 years. As I was leaving my keys with the new roommate, I felt this pang of sadness, much like you feel at the end a book that you were really enjoying. You're glad to have read it and it had to come to end eventually, but you're going to miss the story. And what stories the walls of that house could tell...

But it was onward up and upward (or just around the corner) for a few months before the big move to France. That summer was a difficult one. There were so many unanswered questions about when we would be leaving and what I was going to do when I got there. Jason wasn't exactly helping the situation with his indecision, though some of it was out of his control, and we fought. He didn't want me to go, and I didn't necessarily want to be in France all on my own but I couldn't stay in Baltimore with nothing to do for an unknown amount of time. I had to go.

A year ago, I was packing all of my worldly possessions into boxes and bags, some to be put aside for later, some to be given away and a special select few got to make the trip across the ocean with me. Those last few days at my parents' house were bizarre, this strange sort of limbo where we were all waiting for what was sure to be something big but we didn't really know what it would be. Looking back on it, I'm not really sure I was excited at that point. I had spent all of my emotions in the weeks leading up to that day and I mostly felt numb. Just get there in one piece.

364 days ago, I had never been to Bordeaux. I had forgotten most of the French I learned once upon a time and it had been years since I had stepped foot inside of a classroom where I wasn't the one giving instruction. I lived in a dorm room in Mérignac and I didn't know a soul in the entire country of France. The whole country! Maybe that's why I wasn't excited. Because I knew what lay ahead would be immensely stressful, lonely and just plain hard.

Fast forward to today. So much has changed since those first moments in France. I am fluent in the French language. I live in a cool apartment right in the heart of Bordeaux with the man I love. I know great places to get good wines for good prices. I have a favorite type of cheese that isn't Swiss or cheddar. I could tell you the best way to get across town from wherever you are (but only if you're taking public transit). I have a job that I enjoy and friends to hang out with on the weekends. I am fairly knowledgeable about French cuisine.

I don't quite know how to explain the intangible changes within me, though. So much about my identity has been shifted this year. I am not French but I don't know if I'm really American anymore, either. I am reading a book whose title translates to "How I Became French" and I can identify with each one of the stories. I no longer fit into nice boxes. In order to integrate into French society, do I have to give up a bit of my American-ness? Am I less like those who share a common birthplace because of my time masquerading as another nationality? Can I ever truly assimilate? Do I have the right to be here and pretend I belong?

What I have found in this last year is that I don't know the answer to any of those questions any better than when I came. The longer I'm here, the more complicated it gets. Bordeaux is my home, the home Jason and I have made together. The US is where I was born and my family and friends are there but it doesn't feel like the same place it once was to me. It has become the place I visit once a year for the holidays. Of course I look forward to going there but I feel like a stranger now. I have to be conscious of how much I talk about France for fear of being that obnoxious ex-pat who can't shut up about their fabulous new life abroad.

But what else do I have to talk about? It's my life. I'm not on vacation, I'm at home. That's the hardest part: A year later, I am still trying to explain that I am not just a tourist, both to the French and to my family and friends back in the US. A year later, I am in another limbo where again, I  am waiting. I am waiting to figure out who I am, who I have become. But, unlike a year ago, I am not numb. I am alive.

Happy anniversary, Bordeaux.

School Is In Session

I have been working! As I am a product of my Teach For America training, I present to you some initial thoughts in the form of positive aspects, negative aspects and potential solutions. (Can't stop, won't stop, Overbrook!!!)

Good thing: I love having a classroom again. It fills my little teacher heart with joy. Even though I am teaching English, it's still a foreign language to my students and it's so cool to watch them learn new words, express themselves in ways that are unfamiliar but so rewarding, and decipher complicated texts. It makes me giddy!

Not-so-good thing: I don't really know that much about teaching English. I know it well, obviously, and I know the methods for teaching foreign languages but sometimes I feel like I don't explain a grammar point well because I don't really know the "why" behind it. I know even less about business. Seeing as I work at a business school, I sometimes feel like my students look at me like, "Why don't you know that? You're the teacher." That's a new feeling for me and I'm not sure I like it very much.

Solution: Bone up on the rules of English. Carry a grammar reference, just in case. Learn about business while learning about English. There are about a million books at the CEL for exactly that purpose! Remind students that you are not a business teacher but a language teacher and content specific questions can be directed to their content teachers.

Good thing: I share the work for all my planning and prep with a whole bunch of other teachers. It's great that I don't have to do every single thing myself. We meet to share some ideas and come up with the general goals of each session but then most of the content is developed by someone else. I don't even have to make my own copies; I just send them off to the printer and I pick them up later!

Not-so-good thing: Sometimes I don't feel as prepared as I would like to because I didn't do any of the leg work to put the lesson together. I am used to hand-crafting every piece of my lessons so I know them inside and out by them time I actually go to teach them. With someone else doing most of the prep, I don't feel as connected to the lesson. I am also used to having clear, measurable objectives to meet at the end of each lesson and a pre-determined final assessment to work toward. These things are non-existent (for now.)

Solution: Take the resources you're given but work the meat of the lesson in your own way. In meetings, push to set up objectives for each lesson, even if they are not quite as precise as you're used to. Write lesson plans including key questions to stay organized and push students' thinking.

Good thing: I am really stretching myself professionally by teaching some very high level groups. They are quick and motivated and it's super exciting. Even with my lower groups, they are able to do soooo much more than I could ever have dreamed with my Spanish students back in Baltimore. Some of my students are only 17 and I am still blown away by how much they know and can do.

Not-so-good thing: I don't know if I am doing a very good job of teaching my top students things they don't know and picking out things to work on for my lower students.

Solution: Don't be so hard on yourself. It's your first week! You've only seen the top classes once. As long as they are talking a lot, they are learning. For the first year kids, give them more opportunities to speak and write so that you know where their weaknesses are. They need the practice, too. Break them into small groups more often. Scaffold higher level thinking questions into the lesson. Cold call, wait time, basic stuff. You ain't no rookie, Stich.

Good thing: I get to teach a wide range of subjects, levels, and ages. I have tons of classes and it seems like I get assigned more everyday. It feels good to be trusted with so many different responsibilities.

Not-so-good thing: I am still getting used to this system and I don't even know what I'm supposed to be teaching for half of these courses. They all start on different days and there is no rhyme or reason for when they meet so I live in constant fear of missing a class.

Solution: Buy a planner. Ask questions early and often. Get with other people who are teaching the same courses and see what they are working on so you have an idea of what you need to teach. And remember that everyone is in the same boat. Not even the people in charge know exactly what's going on all the time because the merger got everything all messed up. Be patient.

Good thing: The school is easy to get to on tram/bus. The CEL is right up the street.

Not-so-good thing: The tram is PACKED both ways on my commute to Kedge. Everyone is touching everyone else for the whole 20 minute ride. No wonder I'm sick.

Solution: Seriously consider a bike. No, for real this time.

Good thing: I have a job again, which means I have an income and it means I have something to do with my life. I have a purpose. I matter. I will be getting a social security number, which means I will have health insurance, which means I can go to a doctor if I need to and it won't cost a bunch of money but even more importantly, it means I can participate in sports!

Not-so-good thing: I don't have my contract yet and I have no idea when we get paid. Does my contract need to be signed before I can get paid? Do I need a SSN in order to complete my contract?

Solution: Relax. Patience is a virtue. The Joanne is taking care of it. Everything that I needed to do, I have done and I will do anything they ask in a timely manner. They have a lot of people to process right now but it will get done.

In summation, this is pretty great. I am very fortunate to have found this gig and I am really excited to keep improving and helping some kids learn English. It's good to be home.

Work It

Finding a job is complicated for any young person but I don't think I fully appreciated the difficulty that I was about to experience here in Bordeaux. In the beginning, I was perhaps a bit too confident. I figured I would just buy myself some time (and entry into the country) by taking classes for a couple months, and then start doing some full-time work as soon as I was completely fluent in French. Because it had been so easy with Babylangues, I foolishly assumed I would be able to snatch up any job right away because I am smart, experienced, trilingual and, by God, I am special. Everyone has told me so since I was born!

There's only so much talent and experience can get you, though, and it's even less when you're an immigrant with no connections. I took it for granted that I was always part of systems up until now. I never really had to look for a job because I always knew someone who would just hire me. Baltimore City Public Schools? Teach For America got me that job! I am completely on my own here. No one knows me, I don't know anyone. On top of that, no one is in any hurry to sponsor me for a visa when they could snatch up an English-speaking EU member for way less trouble. I had been here for 10 months and all I had to show for it was a stack of letters  that all started with the word "Unfortunately." Maybe I'm not so special after all...

Then came some good news. The HR guy at Jason's lab was able to get me a conjoint de scientifique visa that would allow me to stay in the country as long as Jason is here and I would be allowed to work full-time! I will be much more marketable with a document that says I'm not leaving at the end of the semester and I am allowed to hold a normal job.

After the summer break, I got my new residency card and went back to looking for work. Progress was non-existent (or I didn't have any way to measure it) and without the distractions of babysitting or classes or trips to far off places, I was feeling a bit despondent. Beyond that, I felt guilty that I wasn't contributing financially to our household. I couldn't get a beer at the bar without feeling shitty about it because I had done nothing to earn it. Jason tried to be encouraging: "You keep our house from falling into ruin and disrepair! You take care of everything that involves talking to people in French!" But as someone coming from a decent-paying career, and paying my own bills and having my own income, it's hard not to feel a little bit worthless.

One night, we were at Guillaume's house for a gathering and I was talking to some folks about my issues finding work. Not to complain; I was hoping someone would know someone who knows someone who was looking to hire a language teacher. No luck in making any professional connections but I did get a kick in the ass from a new friend, Catherine. "You need to just go to these places and say 'I am capable, I am motivated and I am ready to work.' Don't worry about being annoying. If you're annoying, then they will know your name. You have nothing to lose."

It was exactly what I needed to hear. I can't say that I have ever tried guerrilla job hunting but I was ready to try anything to get myself out of my self-pity funk. I put on a nice outfit, got some copies of my CV and cover letter and hit the streets. I had some places I had applied to before and got no answer that I wanted to swing by and a new one I had just discovered in an ad online. The Wall Street Institute was not currently hiring but they would keep my CV for a year. Another "no" for the pile. This other place was right down the street, though, so they were next on my list. The ad for the Centre d'Études de Langues (CEL) said they were hiring "language teachers" so it seemed pretty promising. That's what I do! I teach languages!

I almost couldn't find the office because it's in the biggest building in town, but luckily they were doing work on the elevator and the door was open so I could see the sign for the center.

"Place de La Bourse" is not an address!

I grabbed the first person I saw, who happened to be in charge of the English department and new staff for the CEL. What are the chances??? "Oh yes," said Joanne, in her delightful British accent. "We are definitely looking for teachers. It's really wonderful that you came in, actually because we have some spots that need to get filled right away. Let me introduce you to Georgina, the head of the program."

I sat with Georgina for a few minutes while she read my resumé and asked me questions about my availability and then she said, "Your classes will start next week. Is that okay?"

Wait... WHAT??!?

Months of sending applications to everyone and their mother, countless forms and files painstakingly completed, diplomas dug out of storage bins in the US and shipped overseas and I'm just going to walk up in here with a smile on my face and you're going to give me a job?!?

I'm okay with it.

Here's some deets!

• Even though the CEL hired me, I currently only have classes with their partner, the Kedge Business School. Kedge was very recently known as the Bordeaux École de Management but there was a merger/takeover, a bunch of teachers weren't happy with the way things went down, and most of them left. I feel a bit like a scab for running in after all these people jumped ship but hey. I needed a job!
• In the scramble to replace all the people that left, everyone is teaching a lot of things all at once. I have 7 different courses. Luckily, I have a whole team of other English teachers to work with and we all share the responsibilities of planning and preparing the lessons. Teamwork is awesome. Having a department of people that teach what I teach is awesome. Not having to come up with all my own lessons and materials and assessments is awesome. Awesome.
• I can also work at the CEL, which operates more on a company need basis. Let's say you're Danny Wegman and you want 15 of your store managers to learn Spanish. You call the CEL and they provide you with a Spanish teacher for however/whenever you want. Classes are typically smaller with the CEL but they are also at random times because the people you're working with have day jobs. With my Kedge schedule, I'm pretty booked up for the moment but things may change for next semester. We shall see!

So that's all I have for now. More updates will come when I actually start classes later this week. Watch out, Bordeaux. You just got yourself a sassy new English teacher.

So Long Sweet Summer

After a wild summer of trekking across the US, Jason and I needed a vacation from our vacationing and decided to head down to Southern France for our last days of freedom. We chose Nice as our base of operations because of its relatively central location and tons of great places to eat/drink/explore.

In lieu of a long-winded explanation of every single detail, I have a few notes and I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. Full photo album here.

Friday: Flight from Bordeaux to Nice in the morning. Chilling on the beach in the afternoon. We stayed at the Lou Souleou Bed and Breakfast, which was lovely, except for the fact that we had to share a bathroom with the other people on the floor. I don't know how we missed that in the description of the hotel... Breakfast was simple yet delicious and it was in a great location.

Saturday: Beach. Exploring Nice. Snorkeling. The rocks aren't the most comfortable for lounging on but you get over it real quick when you realize you don't have sand in your butt crack for the next six weeks. The pizza I had for dinner was delicious but I think it didn't agree with my stomach and I was very glad to have somehow managed to not shit on myself that night.

Sunday: Rented a car and drove up into the Alps. It's surprisingly easy to rent a car with an American driver's license. We recommend rentalcars.com if you want to reserve one ahead of time. Get the mid-range insurance for a couple extra bucks per day. The peace of mind is worth it. We stopped in some cute little towns along the way including Sospel and Saorge. I thought we were going to die in a head-on collision on the winding roads but Jason was a champion and did a good job of not killing us.

Stopped in Ventimiglia, Italy on the way back to Nice because we got lost on couldn't figure out how to get to the national park just north of Saorge. Not so bad for a second choice.

Back in Nice, we were eating delicious food on the outdoor patio of this restaurant and Jason recognized some guy he went to high school with, just passing through town. We got drinks together at some bar with great live music. Serendipitous, indeed.

Monday: Day trip to Èze, Roquebrune Cap Martin, and Monaco. We got back kind of late so I don't recall if the food was delicious but it probably was.

Tuesday: Drove up to St-Paul-de-Vence in the morning, dropped off the car, and flew back to Bordeaux. Provence-Alpes-Côte d'Azure, you were awesome. Thank you for a great way to bid our summer fun farewell.

So, so long sweet summer 
I stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays 
So long sweet summer 
I fell into you 
Now you're gracefully falling away