So Much to be Thankful For

With the sleep still in my eyes, I kissed Jason goodbye and staggered down the stairs. It's true what they say about the dark before the dawn, and in late November, chilly, misty mornings are the only type of mornings there are. My bag was heavy, filled with wine and chocolate and my good boots in anticipation of the wintery weather that was waiting for me.

Excitement and a cup of bitter coffee keep me from sleeping. It's been 10 months. How much longer until we're there? I just want to be there.

There is no greater sight on the face of the earth than my parents' smiles when I finally step off the escalator in baggage claim. My dad always waves one thick, rugged hand and my mom always looks as though someone has finally taken a heavy load off her shoulders. It bring tears to my eyes every time.

"Have you been watching the news? They finally lifted the state of emergency in Buffalo. Aunt Carol says the thruway is open again and they are working on clearing the snow at the church parking lot. It looked bad for a minute there but I think they're going to pull it off." While Rochester was completely unscathed, our neighbors to the west were buried by the worst snowstorm in recent history, with certain parts of city seeing up to 7 feet of accumulation over the course of a week. If rain on your wedding day is supposed to bring good luck, what does a record-setting blizzard bring?

Of the seven cousins on my dad's side, Steven has always been the witty, quietly silly one. He can give you a look and you're laughing immediately, not even necessarily knowing why. Ashley is just as sharp, just as quick with exactly the right thing to say. But they both have this earnest sincerity about them, as well. Watching them recite their vows to each other, you knew they meant it. I am excited for the rest of their life together.

Patrick and I don't talk much. He filled his quota of big brother duties when we were still in elementary school and we have been pretty absent from each others' lives for a good 15 years. I love him, but I don't know him anymore. Moving to Buffalo and starting a family of his own was certainly not the only cause of the growing divide between us but for the first time in a long time, I felt like that gap shrank a little bit. We sipped cocktails, and laughed and talked about being adults and how that changes everything. And we danced.

Some of my favorite people in the world

Consumerism has spoiled most holidays for me but Thanksgiving has remained pure and beautiful. It's hard to ruin a day that is exclusively dedicated to family, food, and feeling grateful. My time at home is always so limited and it has shown me how important it is to truly get the most out of every moment with the people I love. There were many wedding-related errands to run, but the giddy excitement in my mother's eyes as worth it. Even the simple act of sitting next to her in the car again is time well spent.

Just as suddenly as it began, the week was over. On the way to the airport, we stopped quickly at Grandma and Grandpa's house. At 96, his health was fading quickly and as Grandma put it in her blunt way, "God's calling him but he can't hear Him!" (The high-pitched squeal of his hearing aid is forever etched in my memories from childhood but he had given it up completely.) Knowing that he was due for a little fresh air, we managed to get him into the van so he could come along for the ride. Absent the dry erase boards that litter the house, I scrawled a simple note in the back of the book I was reading: "Taking Nicole to Airport. She's going back to France." It took him the entire ride to decipher it and I doubt he knew that I was Nicole but it didn't matter. As I gathered my bags, he waved one thick, rugged hand and it looked as though a heavy load had been lifted from his shoulders. I knew the sad, inevitable truth that lay ahead, but in that moment, he looked so genuinely happy and it brought tears to my eyes.